Who am I?

2005: I'm still learning the answers to that question. I have sure changed a lot in the last five years.

Back in 1999 I had the following explanation:

  1. My nickname is Papaya. And I like to eat papayas, but not as much as I like to eat mangoes.

  2. My life is devoted to the Divine. While many faiths have given me guidance and inspiration, I have been blessed to find my paths.

  3. I have a passion for computer stuff. I now teach two HTML classes here on campus. I want to share the creative, empowering knowledge of web page design with other people! I also work as a computer consultant at the Beardsley Computer lab.

  4. Right now (October 14, 1999, 1:43am) I'm in my last semester at Swarthmore College, majoring in English Literature. I would have graduated with the class of '99 last May, but I took a semester off last fall. I stayed at home to heal from the surgery I had during the summer to remove a benign brain tumor. It was a life-changing miracle, opening my eyes to a deep process of reevaluation. The healing is still continuing on all levels -- emotional, psychological, spiritual, physical -- since the only separation between these "parts" of myself is a social construction.

  5. My heart is planted in a number of important places on Earth:
    • Ashland, Oregon - the homebase where I've lived for all my 22 years. I was born in the house where I still live, in the sacred bedroom that used to be my dad's and is now mine when I'm at home. Returning to that town is like crawling back into a warm bed.
    • Ceu do Mapia, Brazil - a spiritual community in the depths of the Amazon rainforest where I lived June and July 1999. There I experienced awakening, healing, cleansing, growth, learning and surrender.
    • Italy - a country that holds rich, deep memories for me. I studied abroad during fall '97, living in Parma for a semester. I got a chance to travel all over the country, falling in love with the people, food, places, culture, history, art and language. I especially feel a connection with Florence, where my grandmother lived for nine years when my aunts were growing up. I also now know that at least one of my past lives was spent in Italy (as I've gotten the chance to go back into the experiences of that time).
    • Swarthmore, Pennsylvania - a valuable point for my education and self-exploration. While I've had my ups and downs here, I know I chose the right college for myself. I have a much different perspective now than when I came here as a first-year in late August, 1995. In some ways it's kind of hard to accept the fact that this is my last semester here. I walk around and look up at the beautiful trees of the arboretum and thank the powers above that I am here.
    • Pinecrest, California - a place for me to get back to nature, feel nurtured in my family, laugh a lot, and be a kid again.
    • Guatemala - where I had one of the highest highs of my life (no substances involved), though it still has no logical explanation. There I found the Rainbow Cafe, found my guides, found my Queens, found my power and found a new side of myself.

  • I'm a Reiki Master. The ancient energy practice was an essential part of my post-operation healing (thanks to my dear friend and teacher, Will Bagley). I decided to receive the three atunements in order to integrate Reiki fully into my life, and I'm now a channeler of the energy.

  • My body is a temple. While I understand this truth with my mind, I'm still working everyday to accept it fully with my heart and actions.
  • I have a radio show on Swarthmore's station, WSRN, at 91.5 FM. It's on every Saturday afternoon from 2 to 3pm (East coast time), and I play world music, usually focusing on spiritual pieces. You can listen to it wherever you are! Just go to the site with WSRN's live connection and download RealPlayerG2 if you don't already have it. I've been a DJ since my first semester here, hosting a variety of weird shows.

  • Dreams mean a lot to me. Miracles happen to me during the night. I have communication with spirits (when I'm awake as well as in R.E.M.).

  • My family means the world to me. My parents have been divorced since I was three years old, but they both live in Ashland. I have a sister, Phoebe, who's two years and one week younger than me; she's now going to Evergreen State College in Washington state, focusing on an intense art program this semester. The four of us have gone through a lot together. Many changes have happened since my brain tumor. It feels like all our individual relationships are being rebuilt, now healthier than ever before, as we work to face each other with true honesty and acceptance. The love is DEEP. I pray that we continue to heal the pain from past experiences and patterns.

  • I'm eternally grateful to have a strong web of friendships supporting me. My friends are essential.

    * * *

    These explanations are true in this moment, though they're subject to change.

    (my answer in 1997)

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