dreams: December 1, 1999
I just joined a football team. I'm the only female. We are running out onto the field for my first game. We are totally decked out in the gear (white and bluish-green are our colors), including helmets. For a moment I think about how I didn't bind my chest to keep my breasts out of the way. We are standing in a circle. A coach is giving us orders; he's actually the coach of the opposing team, but we're supposed to listen to what he says. He instructs us on how to do an exercise that involves two players trying to pee on each other. Suddenly his pants are down, and I can see him from the back -- his bare butt and his balls hanging down between his spread legs. I'm the one selected from our team to play with him. My pants are down. Now I'm squatting over the coach, his face between my legs, his lips almost touching my labia. Bright yellow brewer's yeast is scattered all over the ground around us.
I'm the object of sexual attention
Now I'm sitting on the back porch at home, talking to a female friend. It's dusk, almost dark outside, and the air is warm, like summer. The flash of a big round camera catches my eye from a long ways away (in the far back corner of Vivi and Megan's backyard) pointed directly at me. It looks like a new technological video camera. It's like a spy. I realize that it can see my private parts, since I'm wearing a dress with no underwear. My sitting position has one leg propped up on the porch (bent knee), while the other leg hangs off the side. But I'm too involved in our conversation to fully acknowledge the camera, so I don't do anything. Then it flashes again, getting another picture of me. I feel watched, which is titillating and exciting but also makes me feel self-conscious and slightly invaded.
Megan and Vivi are inside the house, hanging out in the kitchen with other friends and family.
- FIN -
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