dreams: June 22, 1999

a snake in the nostrils

I'm walking back to my dorm room. There is a scientific display in the hallway. When I get to my door, I see that it has weird white stuff on it that looks like a spider web; it is in what looks like two big nostrils, as if a huge nose is on the door. Suddenly an orange and black snake pops out. It scares me, but only slightly. I end up totally fine.

Then I'm reading an article about the event (snake, etc.), since it had been a big news story. At first I think I'm reading about it in Justin's page, but then I see that the publication is actually a knock-off wanna-be (and it's in paper form, not on a computer).

"Jesus Christ said stealing was wrong."

Mom, Phoebe and I are taking a roadtrip, on our way to a place where we will be doing D. together. We stop at a motel to spend the night. We're in a room that actually belongs to someone else. All their stuff is here. I'm in bed. So is Phoebe, but I think she's asleep. I'm very cold, so Mom gets up and finds an extra blanket for me in a cupboard. She also gives Phoebe and me each a big stuffed animal (teddy bears?). I laugh at first, thinking she's kidding. Yet then I see that she's seriously giving them to us. I feel a major protest because they belong to the other people who are staying here. Mom's sitting in a chair next to my bed. I tell her I don't want the stuffed animal because it belongs to someone else. Mom looks confused, asking why that's a problem. I tell her it's stealing. "So what?" she asks. I say, "Jesus Christ said stealing was wrong."

Suddenly I sense something is very wrong. Mom seems to have no judgement. I realize that she seems drunk. I ask her if she's been drinking. She says yes but that she only drank a little because she needed it to relax for the trip. I'm furious. I yell at her. I feel absolute fury.

Then we're outside. I'm trying to get control of this chaotic scene. Phoebe's here. Mom won't cooperate. I don't understand why she had to drink again. I'm very mad and upset and frustrated, feeling like I can't do anything to make the situation any better. Then I'm in a parking lot. Mom is with her boyfriend, Gary (the one from San Francisco). I am looking for her car. It's a small rover jeep thing. I find it, and I see her bag on the seat; I start looking through it. Then Mom is in front of me. All I can see is from her waist to her knees. I realize she's wearing my blue skirt (the one I bought for Mapia). I'm angry. I start yelling at her, wondering why she took it without asking me. Then I see in her bag that she also packed two of my shirts for herself, as well as my rainbow-striped socks. I'm mad. She grabs my arms, pinching them tightly with her hands (just like she used to do when I was younger), not letting me move. I put my head down and try to bite her wrist. I grab her pinky finger and try to get it into my mouth. I really want to bite it.

moved by mention of a yogi

I'm with relatives: Lisa, Lana, Granny, Phoebe, and others. We're at a place that's charging $5 per cup of Coke. I'm thirsty. The other people with me are getting Cokes, but I'm hesitant to spend that much money on a drink I don't really even like anyway. They're getting diet Cokes. Somehow it actually sounds good to me right now. But I don't want diet. I ask if they have any normal non-diet sodas without caffeine.

Then Phoebe and I just decide to go get food somewhere else. We're in a store in downtown Ashland (which reminds me of Soundpeace). I am talking to someone who is telling me about an Indian yogi spiritual teacher that s/he's going to see. I am crying and crying, tears running down my cheeks, because I'm totally moved by what this person is telling me. Then we leave because Phoebe and I don't want the food that they sell here. Phoebe asks why I was crying. I don't really know what to say.

We want to go to Geppetto's. We're in the back alley behind the restaurant. We're opening doors, but they're leading to the wrong places. Then we finally find the one to Geppetto's (but it's actually to the old co-op).

- FIN -

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