dreams: July 4, 1999

exploring the rooms of my heart

I'm opening up a small oven kiln. There are pieces of pottery inside, different tones of beige and tan. They look like Charley's pieces, but they're all collapsed, folded into the center. I pull out a quartz crystal too. A woman comes up to me; it's her kiln. She offering to teach me a class so that I can make my own pottery. I'm eager (especially because of the crystal), but I remember that I also have the chance to work with Charley at SOSC. Plus his pieces don't collapse, and he doesn't charge me money.

I go sit on a low couch in a living room with someone who looks exactly like Lorien Chambers. I ask her if she has any more Santa Maria. She says no.

Then I follow the pottery woman through a big house. It's very well designed and beautifully decorated: modern and classy with high-class stuff. We go into a room with a high ceiling, rich carpeting, and stylish maroon/cream colors. A man is there (her husband?). He is short, wearing ruby-colored, Asian, wide-legged pants. The woman sits down at a big wooden desk to do the accounting for how much money I will owe her for the pottery lessons. I tell her she has a gorgeous house. (I feel a little envious.) She says, "It's because I'm getting my master's degree." I think about how maybe this person has an ego issue.

Then I'm outside on a walkway that has a roof but open sides. It goes up to a house. I'm leaving. A young woman is arriving. She looks very anxious, speed-walking toward the house. We know each other. She tells me she's late and upset. I stop her. We are standing face-to-face, very close to each other. She has shiny, short, blonde hair, cut in a bob. She is extremely beautiful. She looks a lot like Jessica Fenn and a lot like Raga, both at the same time. I put my hand on her head, with my thumb on her third eye. I tell her to stop and relax. She's whimpering and crying, her eyes closed. I feel calm compassion and healing power. I tell her to tune into the pain she has and to relax there. She does for a moment. Then she suddenly dashes away, saying she's late.

Now I'm in a Swarthmore dorm building. A party is going on. I walk up to a different wing and see that this part has apartments for non-students. I walk in a door and see a very big, classy apartment. A family is sitting at a round table. I see that this is ___'s family (a younger, attractive, male Swattie with pale skin and blonde hair who was dancing drunk at Paces at that one party last semester). The dad asks me if I have an "architecture's pencil." I say no. He's sketching some stuff on gridded paper.

I'm then wandering through a garden at night. It's old and uncared for. I find a rosebush that has beautiful pink roses. They are illuminated b the moonlight. [Interp: the garden is representative of myself, the roses being my true self -- a gift given to me by the Divine in a recent work, kept in my heart.]

no need to stress

I'm in a class. We were supposed to have read some book that I haven't touched. But it seems like everyone else has read it. The professor is going through a list of questions for essays. For each one, he's asking us to vote on whether that's the one we want assigned. I'm rather confused.

Class ends. I'm stressed. I don't feel like writing the paper, but I have to get it over with. I wonder how long it has to be. 5 pages? 10 pages? I go over to Sonia's house. Joanna and her twin sister are there. They're selling their clothes (like a yard sale). I see racks of interesting clothing, all in tones of orange, yellow, cream, etc. Some looks vintage ('70s). I want to look through some of the stuff, but I have to write the paper. I tell Joanna and her sister that I'm stressed. They say it's absolutely no big deal; they've both already done it -- a quick 1-page paper. It's a relief to hear that it only has to be one page long.

Then I'm in a cafeteria. Phoebe is there. I'm very hungry. I'm in the bathroom. I'm changing clothes. Skirt obsession. Phoebe is wearing a sarong. I need it. I ask to borrow it. She says no. I get angry. She walks into a long, narrow room. I'm standing at the doorway. I'm calling her names (like "dumb").

I see Eric Wallbank. He's naked. I see his penis hanging there.

- FIN -

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