dreams: April 3, 1999

love and anger after a work

I'm sitting in a circle of desks with other students in a classroom. Jonathan Goldman is our teacher.

Then I'm working for Rochelle. The job has something to do with computers. I'm working very hard at it, starting at 8 o'clock in the morning and going until late in the evening, all without a lunch break. I'm now done for the day and I realize how many other things in my life are getting neglected. I see a note that says for me to "call M&M & A." I remember that Madhu and Mani have been wanting to talk to me and I've been meaning to talk to them.

We are doing a work. It's in someone's living room. A bunch of D. people are here. The work ends. I'm on the side of the room hugging J. It's a long embrace, and it becomes sensual. We're moving our hands up and down each others' backs. J. says, "I don't get to feel you (up) like this very often." I feel a lot of love for him. Our necks are together, and we switch our heads to the other side several times.

People are now changing out of their uniforms. I take off my cream-colored shirt and my dark skirt, putting them in piles of other similar clothes. I have a backpack of clothes I'm picking through to decide what to now wear. I choose a pair of nice, dark-gray, wool slacks, wondering if they will be too small. I'm sitting on the floor. I pull them on. I'm not wearing any underwear. I don't want my pubic hair to get caught in the zipper. A man in the middle of the room is watching me. I wonder if I'm doing something wrong.

I'm very hungry. Phoebe is here. I ask her what she wants for dinner. She says she isn't hungry. I get very angry with her for not being hungry. I'm jealous and bitter that she doesn't have the same hunger urges for food that I always have. I say something mean, and she gets mad at me.

Then I'm back at home. There are many shoes on the floor next to the door. The wooden floor is wet from rain. There are several white down comforters stretched out in the room. I use one to soak up the water. I'm thinking about Phoebe the whole time, feeling bad for our tension. I realize I used my bed's comforter, and it probably shouldn't get wet. I go into my room (downstairs), walking through the side door (the one that used to be there); I spread out the comforter on my bed to dry.

teaching with eggs and yams

I'm a teacher at a school for young kids (pre-school? kindergarten?). Other people are also here teaching with me. I'm at a table and we're learning about eggs. The kids have a bunch of tiny eggs. Somehow the eggs get thrown down on the floor, oozing bright yellow yolks. They were in the wrong stage of development.

Then we're playing with sweet potatoes. The kids are instructed to test them by pressing them up against their foreheads. One girl next to me tries it and gets a white round mark between her eyebrows (on her third eye). I tell her that it's not ready.

Then I dish out vanilla ice cream with gingerbread cookies and mashed yam. I'm filling many little paper cups with the dessert, only putting a small spoonful in each serving for the kids. I can't wait to eat my cup of the sweet stuff.

- FIN -

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