dreams: October 15, 1998

I want to be calm

I'm in John's house. I'm feeling very uncomfortable/unhappy/anxious about something. Rachel Murphy is here with her kids. She's so calm and content. It's inspirational, but I don't know how to ease my worries to experience her state of mind.

how to make a burger

NEXT, I'm in the Blue Mountain coffeeshop after hours; I'm getting trained to work here, along with another young woman. The owner, David, is on the sidelines, while _____ (the baseball player Swattie in my class who looks latino) trains us. He is showing us how to grill hamburgers back in the kitchen. He tells us we are supposed to put his special sauce on them: ketchup, mustard and mayo all mixed together into a pink paste.

controlling others by hand

NEXT, I'm entering a movie theater. An entertainment experiment is going on, and a new product is being tested. It's a video game mixed with television. The idea is that the user gets a hand-held control set and thus gets to manuever the actors s/he sees on the screen. Tons of people are coming into the theater. There are a limited number of control sets, placed randomly throughout the seats (9 of them?). I am here with Mom and Phoebe, but we all split up to try to find a set. I finally get one. I choose my characters and watch my little screen on the wall. It's a sitcom. At one point I can pour a honey-colored syrup into a little box next to me to simulate the character putting dressing on her salad.

silence in the Self

NEXT, I'm at a D. Work. We're in a little room. Jonathan is sitting in the middle. We're each walking to the center one-by-one as part of the ritual. But now there is no particular order of rank; it's because our bodies aren't who we are. I realize we are each in someone else's physical form. Nino goes before me (but he's a young toddler). Then the Work ends. I'm left feeling kind of confused. A woman comes up to me and says, "You know, if you really want to get the true experience, I have advice for you." She tells me to stay more within mySELF, to remain meditative and focused. I realize I had been talking to people earlier in the Work.

I go into another room. I look up and see a balcony; it's a big porch that is one floor higher, and it's outside, in a tree. Lots of branches cover it. It looks like a restaurant. Many people I know are sitting at the tables eating breakfast. I feel lonely. I feel like I'd be on display if I sat by myself at a table down here. I see Jenna T. sitting with Maria Kirsch. They're laughing. Sue Bouman and Geoff are sitting at a table together. I simply want to sit by myself and feel the Divine power. I sit at a table (now outside). Geoff comes up and starts talking, telling me a story. When he's done with his story, he says bye and walks out. I didn't say a word the whole time. I realize how we as humans often do that, not being sensitive to others, merely staying locked in our our own brains.

- FIN -

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