dreams: December 20, 1998

my rugby team

I'm on the school's rugby team. I and another girl are being trained on the positions. We're on fake grass in an indoor stadium. The team is co-ed.

corporeal indulgences

NEXT, I'm in bed with a male partner. It's night. It's his birthday. As a special present to him, we are having sex. I want it to go slow, and I'm thinking we'll build up to it since we have all night. We are kissing and touching each other. He's taking it kind of fast. Soon he's already inside me. I'm lying on my back, and we're pressed against each other front-to-front, my legs wrapped around him. He's not really moving his body, but I can feel a strong vibration from his penis (as if he was moving super fast). It feels good. I'm holding the small of his back, and I can feel the vibration there too. That part of his back has a deep beautiful dip in it where the spine meets the lower back, and it feels like he's arching it. I'm a little uncomfortable because it seems like he's just doing this part to please me, expecting me to come right away. I keep thinking about how I should be reaching climax by now.

Then we roll over and switch positions. He's sitting up, straddling me. The covers are over me, but he wants to see my breasts, so I pull the sheets down to expose myself. He says he wants me to enjoy it. I feel like I'm being dry and rigid compared to him. When he says "enjoy," he rolls his body up from the bottom of the spine to the top, like a belly dancer. Like a snake. Our heads are at eye level. Now he is Jude Wand. I tuck his hair behind his ears (blonde, curly, frizzy). He tells me that he's now not suicidal, in reference to an earlier time when he had attempted to kill himself.

I turn over; he's now on top of me, like we're spooning (but not on our sides). He says something about "riding" someone -- a specific male -- but he doesn't mean it in any sexual way. I say, "I'd ride him anytime," and we both laugh. It turns us both on. I pull the covers over our heads. We are laughing about creating some sitcom about our situation. And I say, "Yeah, and it would only be written by men, solely from the male perspective." I'm thinking of the sitcom mixed with porn.

Then we start fucking again. He's thrusting hard, and it's making the bed shake. The bed is old and funky with loud squeaky springs. I can see the mattress is being pulled away from the headboard and wall with each thrust. It's too much. I tell him to tone it down. He goes slower and softer for a moment yet then can't help speeding up again because he's so excited. The bed starts squeaking again.

Suddenly I hear something going on in the next room. Voices. A parent has woken up. We get out of bed and open the bedroom door. People have just arrived. They're visiting. I wonder what they might think about me and my boyfriend here together. Andrew Tredway is here. But it's him when he was a little boy, in elementary or middle school. We haven't seen each other in so long. We hug.

I walk into the adjoining kitchen. Lots of people are here, and everyone has some form of dessert in his/her hands. Some people have special utensils that are for baking pieces of pie individually; the wedges of pie are huge (the size of a whole pie). I see someone carrying a lemon merengue. I go into the next room. There are a couple of tables where people are sitting. I join a table, sitting down. I look across the table and see John (with reddish-blonde hair) from the D., as well as his partner Scott. Scott is wearing a beautiful silver pendant around his neck, which hangs directly over his heart. It looks like a crucifix with Jesus hanging on it, while at the same time it looks like a shiva shakti primordial symbol of femininity. It reminds me that I'm now part of a strong spiritual family, my church. Scott and John look tired; they both sink into their chairs until I can't even see their faces above the table.

The tabletop is covered in desserts that everyone is scarfing down. There is a pecan pie, a blueberry whipped cake/pie, ice creamy cakes, and whipped cream topped cakes. I'm taking bites of it all. There is a couple on my right, and they're eating lots as well. The next table has lots more pies that people are eating straight from the pans, not using their own plates. Suji walks over; she's wearing her D. uniform. She picks up a plate that has a piece of the pecan pie on it. The couple on my right had been eating from it, only Suji didn't realize. I can't get enough of these sweets. I see a bowl of chocolate chip cookies. They have TONS of chocolate chips in them. I pick one up and start eating it. Gabriella walks up at that moment to choose a cookie as well.

- FIN -

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