dreams: Sunday, January 7, 2001

my experiences in a bagel shop

I'm walking up a street in the railroad district of Ashland. I'm about to leave town. Phoebe is coming down the street towards me, which makes me happy, since we get to be together before I leave. We decide to go out to lunch together. We go into the coffeeshop on the corner there.

We walk in, and I see many bagels out on display. They are made here. I'm really hungry. I'm trying to decide what kind of bagel to get. The young woman behind the counter is showing me the various kinds, naming them. She calls one a "gorganzola," and I'm trying to remember what that is. She pulls out a plastic bag with the topping/flavor of that bagel. Phoebe and I each take a pinch to taste it. It looks like long pieces of sauteed onion. The girl explains that gorganzola is a cheese. I decide on that one. She agrees that it's one of her favorites. She gives me the bagel (after I ask for it to be toasted, well-done), but it's dry. The girl tells me that the topping part will be ready in just a few minutes. Phoebe gets a coffee drink and treats me to my bagel, paying for this one since I paid for her the last time.

We go back into the other room with tables. We sit at a booth on the wall. Two friends join us. There are young men in the room playing loud music; it's kind of obtrusive and loud. I get up and look at a CD player in the room. It looks like a parking meter: a small box on a pole with an electronic display naming the musical group now playing (heavy metal). I eat some of my bagel. It seems flavorless and dry.

A lot of time seems to go by, and I'm tired of waiting for the topping. I get up and walk back into the front room. Loriana Berman is standing on top of a high part of the counter. She's still a young girl with long skinny limbs. She jumps down when she sees me. We hug, and I pick her up, holding her body in my arms, against my body, like a little child. I tell her I want to hold her in my arms because it feels good; I realize that I want my own child, my own baby. I suddenly have strong maternal urges.

I look up and see Katie Holden standing at the door with Jim Heim. They're leaving. Loriana tells me that people now say that Katie now looks like Madonna because she now has a short haircut. Yes, I think she does look like Madonna now, especially with those shoes. But then I realize that they're Jim's shoes. I can see Katie and Jim through the big front window; they're walking along the sidewalk, away from the coffeeshop. Jim's shoes are black high heels that look unusual because they point backwards -- empty shoe-shaped portrusions off the back part of his ankles. The front parts that face forward and actually cover his feet are white, and they are covered in black netting. I see it as a creative design idea.

I then remember that I still want the rest of my bagel order. A different woman is now working behind the counter. I tell her that it has been about 2 hours since I made my order, so it must be done by now. I figure they have forgotten about it. I go behind the counter, feeling very bold. I see two tall blender-like machines that are mixing something. I see that one of them is mixing my own topping, and it is only now done, just ready to come out. To my surprise, it mixed up a cream cheese spread for me. It is now oozing out of the top, dripping down in one long cylinder (like shit), sliding down toward the counter. It looks like it's going to fall straight down to the ground, so the woman quickly grabs a plate to put under it. She catches part of it with her hands (it is very thick, with a bigger diameter than a banana), and breaks it off, throwing it to the ground. I get very angry, since I want my full serving after waiting for so long. I feel strong rage towards this woman. I want to beat her with my own hands. I feel like killing her.

I instead end up taking a large piece of spread from the other machine on the left, since it's now dispersing some paste too. I add it to my own stuff. I say that I deserve credit here for something free, to compensate for all the time I had to wait.

I take my spread back to the table to eat it with my bagel. I sit down again with Phoebe and our friends.

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