ramble 8: february 24, 1999

i feel very green today. green vines are wrapped around my legs and torso, leaves are draped over my head, ferns tickle my arms, grass is under my feet. i'm under a canopy of forest growth, and the air smells wet, deep, primal, earthy.

yet i now look around me and see that i'm actually in the library's computer lab. not quite the same as a jungle. today when i was working as a computer consultant in beardsley's lab, my meridians got opened up to the truth. i mean the Truth.

mr. seashell ("cschell") sat down to talk to me about forwarding all his eudora emails to his sccs account. we somehow started talking about the future, peru, shirley mclaine's ufo experiences, mapia (brasil), life paths, and Santo Daime. at one moment we stopped talking and just looked at each other. for a moment our "selves" evaporated and i simply felt the spirit. then the next moment my old ingrained social patterns came up, and i had to smile out of habit, pushed to a place of discomfort. then i surrendered again, entering his deep eyes to merge our souls. then i again couldn't sustain it, my face acting as my wall to protect my vulnerabilities. back and forth in little flickers, yet we stayed in the space of Oneness, both in awe that it could be happening so spontaneously.

looking into his brown eyes, i felt the shift. zzshing! suddenly all the cells in my body lifted to a slightly higher frequency. my energy currents were opened up. i was sitting in a weird angle; my body was twisted around funny, and i was looking over my shoulder at him. so i rearranged myself to face him. words weren't needed. our intuitions guided us. we sat there silently and meditated together, our hands together. i could feel the vibration circulating. we lost identities. breathing. comfort. i summoned my dear Reiki guides with Dai Ko Myo. my hand went to his heart. then his third eye. then his knees. then hands together again.

i forgot about space and time until a student approached the desk, asking for a student directory. oh yeah, i'm on work shift here in a computer lab. brought me back with a jolt, my fingers unable to leaf through the booklets, my brain struggling to figure out which label identified what she wanted. i laughed in joy -- to think that the Force is always with us, no matter where we are. even in a room full of technology, stress, midterms, social taboos, fatigue, depression, aching bodies. it's always here. love is in every atom, waiting to be acknowledged.

namaste to the seashell who brought me back to the ocean of light.

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