dreams: October 26, 1999
A big jock-like young man is standing at a big central water fountain, holding the handle in order for a young woman to get a drink of water. He continues to hold it for the next few women in line in front of me. When I step up, he drops the handle and walks away. I take it personally, and his action feels like a stab in the heart. I feel ugly and unworthy, like I don't have any power in my femininity. I start crying. Several other people around me try to help me hold the handle of the fountain to make the water run. A young blonde woman (with a familiar face) comes up from behind me and tries to help; it looks like she works here or is some sort of advisor/leader. I'm wearing a long skirt, and she and I both keep tripping on it, our feet getting tangled in the bottom as I try to lean forward to drink.
Now I'm in a preschool room. The parents are here with their kids. I say hello to one little kid (boy? girl?) whose parents are on both sides of him/her; s/he has a distinct, chiseled face, wearing big glasses. I feel super emotional. I'm sobbing, tears running down my face (but it's not really out of sadness). I see everything through a different lens right now -- how I feel when my outer layers have been peeled down to the core so I have direct connection with our Higher Power (like in a D. work).
Then, later I'm playing a video game that is so high-tech I get to actually be in the virtual reality myself, running around as one of the characters as I control him (masculine). I'm in a green and brown land with hills and dirt and trees. I'm trying to kill other characters before they kill me.
- FIN -
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