dreams: June 19, 1999

an evening with Mimi, Miles and Scott

I just returned to the United States from my trip to Brazil. I'm walking up to Miles, Mimi and Scott's house in Ashland. There's a big party going on. It's very chic, with tables of gourmet food (a dinner) and lots of important people. Anyone who is anyone is here. At one point I'm in a smaller room downstairs with Miles and his friends. I'm standing in the doorway, and I feel out of place, like I don't really belong here. I'm wearing jeans and a sweatshirt.

Then I'm in a big room where more people are hanging out. Scott is standing, giving a speech addressed to everyone. I can see his chest, and I find it very attractive. I'm amazed at how cool he is, suavely talking to the crowd, very good-looking. I glance over and see Mimi sitting on a couch. It totally makes sense that they're married. She is just as attractive -- absolutely radiant and beautiful.

Now there are much fewer people here. Scott, Mimi, and Miles are in the room, as well as two male friends from high school. These guys both have dark hair. One is Emmett. They're lying on their stomachs next to each other on the floor, propped up on their elbows, near my feet. Scott shows me a small painted picture, like a card. I realize that the artist is someone from Mapiá (or it's a painting of Mapiá?). I immediately start crying, full of emotions. Scott asks me a question about it. I tell him it is a place of TRUTH, with no lies. Then I say something else, but as soon as it starts coming out of my mouth I realize it's stretching the truth, which is an immediate contradiction to my claim. So I stop talking.

Then I'm alone in a room with Scott. It's now late at night. I'm feeling very attracted to him in this moment. There is an energy between us. I think about taking off my clothes.

I'm changing

I'm looking in the mirror. I have long, thick, straight hair (like it used to be), with no bangs. It falls below my shoulders. I wonder to myself how it grew so fast in such a short period of time, since I remember it being cut very short not long ago. My face looks different too: thinner. I see that the fat that used to be on my face made it look much different than now. I stretch back my cheeks and see how it has the potential to look even thinner.

waiting for the info

I'm at some hospital or medical office, standing at a high desk. I'm showing my ID, along with another young woman who is with me. Her ID card is much bigger. She's from a university in Texas (or from Temple in Philly?). We're waiting for something to be copied or faxed, but it's taking a long time. I want to go. I know that John is waiting for me. At that moment he rides up to the desk on his bike.

- FIN -

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