Dreams: October 5, 1997

feminine sexuality

I'm with a group of my women friends. We are all doing a dance together, moving around in a circle. It feels very natural and comfortable. A. and I are lying next to each other. She's talking to someone else while also holding/touching me. I'm pressed up to the left side of her body, touching and playing with the nipple of her left breast.

community service class

NEXT, I am sitting in a circle of people my age (many from the Pitzer program). It's a class at Swat, and we're at the end of the semester, the last day of class. Our professor is a young woman standing up in the center of the circle. We are sitting on some dirt road up in the mountains. I have a piece of gum in my mouth; I spit it out into the shrubbery on the side of the road.
We are talking about community service work. I'm thinking to myself that I'm happy I took this class because it was so easy. The professor is talking about various community service programs. She says that she has awards for us, having chose the students that she thinks will make the biggest difference in their future volunteer work. It annoys me that she is trying to predict what will later happen. She names about three students, one of whom is Erin Greeson, who is sitting on my left. She is surprised. I think to myself that I am capable of accomplishing any goals that I set; if I wanted to, I could start an incredible program and make a real difference. That would show everyone. I'd be famous.
I raise my hand. The prof calls on me. I start to say something, but she misinterprets what I say as a compliment, interrupting with "Grazie." I ask what the real motivation is for people who do that sort of work; she says something about helping others, but from her attitude, I think the actual incentive is fame. I eat one red M&M every time she says "___" [I can't remember what the word is].


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