~~Zhiling's Home Page
..meet Nertle the Turtle. Nertle will be your guide as you journey
through the page. Please note that, this page is suited for random
viewing. Do not attempt to make sense of the
page nor of the contents within. This page is intended to contain
only odds and ends of possibly interesting information. If anything upon
this page offends the reader total fault should be placed on Nertle the
Turtle. Please no calls. Realize that you have read the above
warning and are prepared to get full Nertle experience. Explore and
enjoy!
Senior year! It's a beautiful time to be. That is if you don't think about having to enter the real world after graduation too much... I have finally decided to become a Chinese Major after juggling around with the idea of being a Chinese/Biology double major for the last year or two. Hurrah to making decisions in life! Cheers to the Class of 2002!
--Funky Crunchy Country
Chicken is strutting its stuff once again this year!--
A Nertle approved radio show is
now on the air Sunday afternoons 1-2:30pm on Swarthmore
College Radio WSRN 91.5 FM (now on Windows Media Player). Tune in to
your
favorite DJ's Lynn and Zhiling on a lazy Sunday afternoon and groove
to tunes by such
greats as Patsy Cline, Lyle Lovett, John Denver,
and MORE!
Check out the FCCCflyers! Also, photo of Lynn and Zhiling in action!
Revised 3/26/02 12?31am
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The Dessert and After Dinner Mints
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Q: What is love?
A: Love is like an old married couple where the wife has arthritis in her
back so she can't bend over to paint her own toe nails. However, her
husband who realizes this will paint her toe nails for her even
though he has arthritis in his hands.
Q: What is as big as an elephant but doesn't weigh a thing?
A: An elephant's shadow
Q: How many swatties does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Seven. It's not that one isn't smart enough to do it. It's just that
the other six are twitching from the stress.
Q; How do you get a Paces waiter/waitress to come over to your table and
take your order?
A: Unknown. Will remain a mystery to humanity as we know it.
Q: If you are having trouble reading something in fine print what are
someways you could improve your ability to read it without a
magnifying glass?
A: 1) use a brighter light
2) Make a circle with your hand to act as a magnifying glass (really
works according to laws of physics)
3) Realize that its in a totally different language and you
couldn't possibly read it on your own anyway
Q: Which brand of batteries are really longer lasting?
A: Energizer - for AA and lower sized batteries
Duracell - for batteries larger than AA
Q: If teflon is used to make non-stick pans, how do you get the teflon to
stick to the pan?
A: Very carefully.. and a little sand blasting.
Q: If travelling from Boston to Philadelphia, which form of
transportation is remarkably more expensive: bus, train, or plane?
A: Neither all tickets can be purchased at relatively the same price
Q: How do you make a frog with just two hands?
A: Overlap your fingers so that when you look at the palsm of your hands
your fingers are wiggling at you. Then cross your middle finger
around
the opposite hand's ring finger. Then take index fingers and place
under the crossed ring and middle fingers. Let tips of index and thumb of
same hand touch and bring all fingers toward center to create
mouth. If confused than just forget it or contact nertle or
nertle's webmaster in person.
Q: What is the most morbid song that Funky Crunchy Country Chicken has played on the airwaves?
A: Marty Robbin's "The Chair"
Q: Who is Funky Crunchy Country Chicken's Number one Fan?
A: Carl.
Q: Will you need to know how the Diels Alder reaction works in medical
school?
A: Not even.
Q: Why are there so many mechanisms in glycolysis?
A: To agonize pre-med students who are taking Biochem as a req.
Q: Is daylight savings practiced throughout the United States?
A: All parts of the US are governed by law to be on daylight savings
except for Hawaii, American Samoa, Guam, Puerto Rico, the Virgin
Islands, the Eastern Time Zone portion of the State of Indiana, and by
most of Arizona (with the exception of the Navajo Indian Reservation
in Arizona) ref. "It's About Time"
Check out how messed up Indiana is--> "What Time Is It in Indiana?"
Q: How many swatties can you fit into a mother puckers van?
A: About 40 or even more if the swatties are feeling ingenuitive.
Q: How do you make that cool horse trotting noise with your hands?
A: Slap hands together, let your right hand slip down and slap your
leg, then follow with your left, (continue).. Nertle has tried this
but can't seem to get the knack of it
Q: If a tree fell in the woods and no one was there to hear it would it
still have fell and/or made a sound?
A: Sure, whatever floats your boat.
Q: What was Macgyver's first name?
A: Angus
Q: What is Don McClean singing about in American Pie?
A: The helicopter crash which killed Richie Valens, Buddy Holly, and the
Big Bopper (.. when the music died..)
Q: What is the best flavor of ice cream?
A: Pina Colada ice cream eaten on a terrace looking over the River Walk in
San Antonio, Texas.
Q: What did the snail say on the turtle's back?
A: Weeeeeeeeee
Q: What brand of pencil and pens are the best?
A: Pens = papermate (blue, med. point)
Wooden Pencils = Ticonderogas (no. 2)
Mechanical Pencils = no major preference at the time but I use
0.7mm, no. 2 bics, and Zebra's are pretty good
but 0.5mm lead is harder to come by
Q: What's the cure for the common cold?
A: Lemon Jell-O, Vernors/Sprite, Tea with lemon, Chicken Soup
(who knows, but it tastes good)
Q: Where can you find the best Chinese Take-out food?
A: Nay's Bamboo Kitchen Alma, MI or Mt. Pleasant, MI
Q: What do you do with unpaired socks?
A: Two words: Sock Puppet
Q: How do you make make free copies from the copy machine at the library at
Alma High School?
A: Put money into the machine and then when you're just about to press print.
Press print and the coin return at the same time.
Q: What is the answer to life?
A: 42 (According to Douglas Adams, writer of The Hitchhiker's Guide
to the Galaxy
Q: How do you tell the difference between the Backstreet Boys
and N'Sync boys
A: Answer you probably can't because they're both formulation eye candy for
young teenage girls to fawn over and buy products from. However, I must
admit their music is catchy so it doesn't hurt to know a little about
the boys when you catch yourself humming along to one of their songs on
the radio. Click here for a simple yet comprehensive guide to your favorite Boy Bands
Q: Which one of Zhiling's roommates also has a webpage?
A: Click here for the answer--> Lynn's Homepage
email inquiries, comments, admirations to
Nertle's Swattie worshipper: zhilinggau@hotmail.com
visited since March 5, 1999.
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[The Zhongwen Website, Chinese Dictionary Online!]
