if i fall now, it will be hard.july 29
i sat at the counter watching the cook toss various pastas and sauces over a big gas burner. pesto and diced tomatos and basil everywhere. i was eating polenta, which i'd never had before, a kind of italian corn meal mush with cheese and pomadoro sauce. watching the cook kept my mind off of other things, and it was pleasant to be living simply and relatively cheaply.
walking on telegraph i look at faces and bodies and notice that there are a lot of people that seem enlightened in some way. i use the word to mean that they have figured something out, something that allows them to be happy or content or free, and you can see them smile or just look out with a gaze free of anguish. most of them have tattoos. that's something that amazes me, that people can have something that permenant on them, they're that settled, in some way. they know something i don't, the tattooed ones.
the best i can do is henna, and indian skin dye that comes out a dark orange brown and lasts only a few weeks. i had cherie do a stylized bird on my back, and an arm band, and i did a symbol on my waistline because i think it's a neat area... sensative and hidden. i want to try permanency. at the same time, my marked body is a sign of my impurity.