dreams: June 12, 1999

I'm black

I'm trying on bathing suits in front of a mirror in a small room. There are a few other people in the room -- my friends. I'm trying on a HEAVY, thick swimsuit that makes me look like I have an extra 30 pounds or so. It gives me extra rolls of fat on my stomach and hips, and it covers up my breasts. I don't like the way it looks on me. I know that for some reason it's for black people. Then I look at myself closer in the mirror and see that I'm black myself. I have curly/frizzy hair and dark skin.

a rocky relationship with Phoebe

I'm in a room with Phoebe and her friend Aaron; I'm excited to finally get the chance to meet him, but I don't see him. Phoebe and I are making a collage from magazine cutouts. But she's hogging the magazine. I'm frustrated that I don't have the chance to look through the magazine myself. Then she's on the computer. It's very old -- the kind that runs solely on the DOS program, all in black and white. Phoebe has pulled up a picture on the screen; it's of a woman's body. I'm mad at her, and I feel like there is a lot of space between us. We're not close at all anymore.

bags of goodies

I'm walking through the top level of a building (at Swarthmore?) with administrative offices. I'm looking for the bathroom. Everything is a light mint green color.

Then I'm walking with Mom through a shopping area (a mall?). We pass by a table that's giving away free bags of goodies; I see it's from Harry & David (where she works). I take one. At first Mom doesn't want one. I reach inside my bag and see all sorts of good stuff, all for free! The first thing I pull out is a tiara, sparkling. It's to qualify Mom for some mother contest. She changes her mind and takes a bag herself. I also pull out a lighter, seeing that many of the things I'll be able to take to Mapia with me to give away.

- FIN -

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