dreams: April 23, 1998
McCabe's new resource for female sexual satisfaction
I'm in McCabe library at Swat. Someone shows me a new resource: a closet-type room with many dildos and vibrators on the floor. I get the impression that they're available for a student to either use here in the closet or check out (to take home). All of a sudden I am alone in the closet room. I'm looking through the pile of interestingly-shaped, multi-colored plastic phalluses; some have cords, some are battery-operated, some are just hand-held. I find one that intrigues me, white and wide. When I turn on a button it wiggles, a big wave rippling from bottom to top. I want to press it against my clit and maybe slide it into my pussy. Yet I'm nervous because the closet has a big door with two big panes of glass. There are curtains, but they're not quiet wide enough to cover the whole windows. Thus I can see little slivers of peoples' faces as they walk by (and some who are just sitting and studying nearby). I'm nervous to do anything in this closet because I think people will be able to watch. I look up and realize that the closet isn't actually a separated room but actually just a designated floor space marked off by shelves. Some shelves are only about shoulder-height, so when students walk down the hall, their heads stick up above the shelves, and they're able to see me sitting on the floor. On one side I see two men sitting at a desk that faces into my space. They look older, Italian. Now I'm really hesitant to do something because I feel like I'm way too public. I don't want these people to see or know what I'm doing here. Apparently the two guys don't know what the purpose of the space is; they ask me. I invite them in. They walk around and enter through the door. I show them the dildos and vibrators and explain that you can check them out from the library. There is a little manual that gives the basic policies; one page says that you need to use a condom every time in order not to spread germs or diseases. I put the vibrator I like into a special case: a long rectangular box (like for a fold-up umbrella or something). MJ is here too. Then we are suddenly at a rich old woman's house. I'm with a class, a group of other Swatties. The woman who owns the house is elderly with white hair; she's very wealthy and generous, having donated much to the college. We learn that she was the one who donated the special closet and its resources to McCabe. I'm surprised. What a progressive thinker. We're sitting in her living room. There is a huge coffeetable in middle of the room. It's covered with many dildos and vibrators, each given its own space, like an art show. It turns out that she has designed each one herself. I look at them. Each one is an interesting piece of art. One has square knobs up and down the sides (black rubber), while another one is long and skinny, and another is fat with a tiny head. There are a couple that aren't phallic but instead look like pancake shapes; one of them is green and has a cord, looking like a hot water bottle that plugs in. I get the impression that it does something (stimulates?) for your ovaries/uterus/cervix. They're all designed with female pleasure in mind, as if each was specially made to fit the vagina/vulva of an individual woman and her desires. While many represent men's anatomy, they mostly seem to embody women's sexuality and libido in a powerful way.
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