I am A Jew/Black Woman/Smartest Scenes

These were three secenes, two of which were in the first act, the last of which (I am the Smartest) was part of the chaos scene at the end of the show.

Ted came up with the concept of these scenes originally, and Emily directed them and gave them their caricature-like shape.

Here are approximations of the scripts of the scenes.

I am a Jew

Amanda and Julie are sitting down, builing a tower out of blocks.

Julie: Engin lab on Friday afternoon is such a pain.
Amanda: Yeah, luckily I'll get some rest at home this weekend.
Julie: No Dave Matthews?
Amanda:I'm going home for Rosh Hashannah.
Julie: Oh, it's hard to be Jewish on campus.
Amanda: You wouldn't understand.
Julie: No, I know what it feels like.
Amanda: You just don't understand.
Julie: No, I know it's hard when your religion gets ignored.
Amanda: You wouldn't understand.
Julie: Amanda. I am a Jew.
Amanda: OH! Then everything's going to be all right!

RIMSHOT! They hug and smile at the audience.

I am a Black Woman

Catherine, a black woman, and Josh, a white man, are sitting on the ground,
building a tower out of blocks.

Catherine: Josh, it's so hard to be a black woman these days.
Josh: I know it must be really hard.
Catherine: No no no, you don't understand. The other day, I went to buy a
	   pack of flesh-colored band aids. They're not the color of my flesh!
Josh: I know it's really hard when your race gets ignored.
Catherine: You wouldn't understand.
Josh: I know how hard it is for you.
Catherine: You wouldn't understand.
Josh: Catherine. I am a black woman.
Catherine: Oh! Then everthing's going to be all right!

RIMSHOT! They hug and smile at the audience.

I am the smartest...