The Tombstone Purity Test

By Dylan Humphrey, 20 Aug 97.
Write down how many questions you answer YES to, and subtract that from 100. That is Your Tombstone Purity.

    Watching the Movie
  1. Have you ever seen the movie Tombstone?
  2. Twice?
  3. Twenty times?
  4. A Hundred times?
  5. Did you see it in the theatres?
  6. Have you rented it?
  7. Seen it on TV?
  8. Do you own the movie?
  9. Do you own the movie poster?
  10. Do you own the script?

    Going There

  11. Have you been to Tombstone, AZ?
  12. More than once?
  13. Do you live in Tombstone?
  14. Did you see Lester Moore's Grave at Boot Hill?
  15. Do you know anyone named Lester Moore?
  16. Can you recite the inscription on his Grave?
  17. Do you know who was "Hanged by Mistake"?
  18. Have you had a can of Doc Holliday?
  19. Have you seen the re-enactment of the Shootout?
  20. Did you see the rose bush?
  21. Did you tour the Bird Cage?
  22. Did you see the bulletholes that Ringo and Doc left there?
  23. Did you see Josephine Marcus' "room" at the Bird Cage?
  24. Have you moved to the Southwest for the purpose of being able to go to Tombstone more often?
  25. Do you think that would be a really good idea?


  26. Do you know the exact date of the Shootout?
  27. Do you know Wyatt's full name?
  28. Doc's?
  29. Morgan's?
  30. Have you emailed me to argue a historical point about Tombstone?
  31. Have you convinced me you were right?
  32. Do you have a copy of "my Friend, Doc Holliday"?
  33. Do you know the name of the person who wrote it?
  34. Have you studied the history of Tombstone as a hobby?
  35. Have you studied the history of Tombstone as a career?

    Have you seen the following:

  36. My Darling Clementine?
  37. Wyatt Earp?
  38. Sunset?
  39. Doc?
  40. Hour of the Gun?
  41. Cheyenne Autumn?
  42. Gun Fight at OK Corral?
  43. Wichita?
  44. Masterson of Kansas?
  45. Gun Belt?
  46. Winchester '73?
  47. Tombstone, The Town Too Tough To Die?
  48. Frontier Marshall (1934)?
  49. Frontier Marshall (1939)?


  50. Do you have a sound from Tombstone on your computer?
  51. Do you have more than ten sounds?
  52. Do you have the whole movie on your computer? (audio)
  53. Do you have the whole movie on your computer? (video)
  54. Have you become interested in the West because of the movie?
  55. Have you worked on the set of a movie about the events of Tombstone?
  56. Have you written your own screenplay about Tombstone?
  57. Have you gone prospecting for Silver near Tombstone?
  58. Do you know why "This is funny"?
  59. Have you met anyone related to the characters in the movie?
  60. Are you related to any of the characters in the movie?
  61. Have you named children after any of the characters in the movie?
  62. Have you named pets after any of the characters in the movie?
  63. Have you named inanimate objects after any of the characters in the movie?
  64. Have you started calling yourself a name from the movie? (doc, virg, etc)
  65. Have you started calling someone else a name from the movie?
  66. Have you identified with one of the characters from the movie?
  67. Have you ever tried to write a 100-question purity test??
  68. Have you gotten a girl to watch the movie with you?
  69. Did she like it?
  70. For a reason other than Val?
  71. Do you think the Clantons got a rough deal?
  72. Do you think the bums got what they deserved?
  73. Do you know any latin other than In Vino Veritas?
  74. Have you seen movies starring any actors/actesses from Tombstone just because they were in it?
  75. Do you find yourself quoting the movie in random conversations?
  76. Do you find yourself quoting the movie in all your conversations?
  77. Have you corrected other people quoting the movie?
  78. Have you started a gun collection?
  79. Since seeing the movie?
  80. Do you own a pistol with a 14 inch barrel?
  81. Do you think Kevin Costner's movie pales in comparison to Tombstone?
  82. Do you think that any film pales in comparison to Tombstone?
  83. Can you recite the entire movie?
  84. Have you tried?
  85. Were you ever married in Tombstone city limits?
  86. Do you own the soundtrack?
  87. Have you composed a song or poem about the events or characters in Tombstone?
  88. Have you written a Tombstone drinking game?
  89. Have you participated in a Tombstone drinking game?
  90. Are you going to be buried under a Tombstone?
  91. Are you going to be buried in Tombstone?
  92. Are you going to die with your boots on?
  93. Have you ever led a murderous band, avenging your brother's death?
  94. Have you ever engaged in a shootout?
  95. With real guns and live ammunition?
  96. Did you survive?
  97. Do you know the name of Ed Schieffelin's Silver claim?
  98. Have you been to Dylan's Tombstone Page?
  99. Have you written your own?
  100. Did I tell you it kicks ass?


Tombstone PurityDescription of you
90-100A Tombstone Virgin
70-90A Tombstone Novice
50-70A Tombstone Fan
30-50A Tombstone Expert
10-30A Tombstone Maniac
0-10All that's left for you to do is: go to Tombstone, buy a tombstone, and hang yourself

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