pretty decorated feet
melanie's birthday thing (and melanie donating her room! to us! oh! new favorite person!)
and yet no work, either ("maybe i'll get more done out on parrish beach" ... riiiight.)
pathetic failed run
21 april 2001
sleeping in later than the hardcore parrish beach earthlusters ;)
and especially elisabeth, the spec visiting from my high school. i hope she comes, she seems cool, and i'd like to have started a trend.
swil kegger (sad that it was poorly attended, but it meant more room for us to dance.)
morning disorientation (you know, you run that very fast mental list of who am i? where am i? how did i get here? first thing in the morning... mine was a bit confused. i actually had to think pretty hard about it for a few seconds.)
bad fried food things
nonproductive! totally! slept on a desk for an hour in mccabe, failed to do anything.
no notebook workshop after all
20 april 2001
history paper due date pushed back two days (every little bit helps...)
student dance concert
earthlust sleepout (that is, earthlust singing and marshmallows and company, then maybe 6 or 7 people actually sleeping out. and some of us defected in the night to indoor dry places. but fun.)
the campaign for sustainable nakedness? indeed.
too much sharples dinner
not working! a whole lot of it!
rain (laurel and i slept on the floor of the squ room to escape. yeah, so we're pathetic. or maybe just sensible, there's a thought..)
19 april 2001
discovering i have nearly 50 points left (i was so paranoid, i didn't check for a long time because i thought i only had 10 or 15...)
one syllable words (i like them. yes i do.)
pseudo-yoga out in the hall (i can do headstands properly! except for the second one, with the rapid dismount in the wrong direction, quick tuck and roll instead of quick snapping neck. good.)
david foster wallace (i need more. more. i have only girl with curious hair, which continues to delight me, but i need more.)
dark chocolate orange and company
less skin on feet (norwegian polka)
remembering that creepy x-files guy with no legs on the little cart (bad when i'm alone on a playground at night, swinging on creaky swings... but effective for sprinting.)
to bed late, late... there's not much point in even mentioning it anymore... it's okay.
18 april 2001
june jordan? maybe?
student council dinner (weird music and good ice cream.)
coffee and forced organization (does coffee just wake me up or does it actually make me happier? maybe being more awake and able to organize things just makes me happier. that could be.)
writing my poem for workshop an entire week in advance
oda a la alcachofa (when i get around to reconnecting pictures and quotes and poems, maybe i will include this one. and some of the other odas.)
lack of food
workshop... ack! i think she just didn't like us. or what we wrote. errr.
suddenly too much food
study abroad meeting (i should have known that would be completely useless.)
realizing that i have 25+ pages of writing due by the middle of next week, none of which i have really begun
headband (i always forget and wear them because they're convenient, but they give me headaches and actual dents in my head.)
sleepy typing (trying to search for something on google, but when entering the url i typed "gogoogle" instead... like... go-go-ogle. go go gadget ogle!)
dad and susie's visit postponed! :( but only until next weekend.
17 april 2001
entertaining titles of philosophy papers: sexual behavior: another position and - arguing against in vitro fertilization - spare the rod and spoil the child
a letter from the history department informing me that it is delighted to accept you as an Honors Minor with an Honors Major in Spanish - interestingly, the department of modern languages has not yet expressed any such delight.
scottish dance, even though i was being stupid and crabby and silent
run (#1, i like the feeling of stopping voluntarily, feeling like i could run another mile and another if i wanted to... #2, i had been sort of distressed, believing that i was not running any farther than i had been because i did not seem to be running much longer. then i realized that i have been running farther, just in the same time, and therefore consistently faster without really noticing. interesting.)
finally discovering a use for cleavage: a good place for storing keys when running in pocketless clothing
the gemueseorchester site (go)
skipping my shift for editing phoenix copy
subjecting the world at large to my unreasonable and selfish and childish and very silly moods (i apologize to the world at large, and to you, too. but i can't promise it won't happen again.)
16 april 2001
first post-lent chai
orange segments with nutella
lying on the backroofporch during that one part of the afternoon when it was suddenly sunny -- pink petal snow falling up from the exploded pinkwhite trees, floating on my hair and in my clothes, sun on my eyelids.
realizing that my right brown boot has a hole worn in the top inside, and this is why i have eight or so individual socks with holes over the right toe
gross too much foodness
unproductive afternoon... i sort of wanted time to stop but instead it just went slowly, so slowly
going back and forth. excess consciousness.
15 april 2001
the weather to match, at least in the morning
brunch at the rectory (the incredible casserole, people, easter baskets...)
video call with mutti, alan, and both grandparents :D
easter church means lots of people, which is good, but they sit on all sides of me, which is bad
tooo much candyyyy
cold rain = no run
three weeks of classes left! (how did this happen??? *absolute terror*)
14 april 2001
sleep (9 hours? a lot.)
phone call from dad from kentucky, at the official tunning family easter gathering (pandemonium in the background, yelling cousins...)
dyeing eggs in sharples
contra dance (the beginning and the end)
church (easter vigil -- candles, bells, voices which i am beginning to perceive in non-aural ways. interesting.)
the end of lent! cheese! cookies! ohhh so much fattening-ness!
sleeping enough means weird dreams (reckless driving dreams, as always, and arguing with a couple of women about body image -- something about sandwiches, and a hospital -- also picking hard-boiled eggs out of a hat to select the CAs for next year.)
sad mutti phone message (she misses me. : ( i will be home soon enough. no worries.)
13 april 2001
being taken by amelia to lodge 2, where there were lots of people and music to listen to and cake (in honor of laurel's birthday) to look at. regular cake and jew-cake.
parrish desk on sunny days
also parrish desk making me late to church
12 april 2001
easter package from mutti (good and strange things enclosed! vegetarian marshmallows, an exceedingly polyester shirt, egg dyeing kit with little paint rollers, grass jelly drink... you know, all the usual.)
walking in the amphitheatre for a while until i felt reasonable
and then i went off to dance
running (playground all to myself, as it should be.)
writing a sonnet in spanish in not very much time. rhymes and everything, and in vague iambic pentameter.
riots in cincinnati (they've set curfews and everything. guns and fire and looting. is this really where i live?)
lack of scale (i realize i have none. this is why the question "how are you?" perplexes me as thoroughly as it does.)
11 april 2001
sra f. campus mailing me the pen that she borrowed the day before (so cute!)
italian food study break (daniel and richard should realize that they will have to keep this up until they graduate. i would give sexual favors for that garlic bread... okay, probably not. but you never know.)
rainrainrain, on and on, not enough energy to even storm
10 april 2001
morbid potato faces at sharples (especially morbid when eaten with ketchup.)
no dance -- not good, but i needed the time.
spanish presentation (blah. but over.)
no dance -- no dance!
no run, either. day of extreme laziness. lazitude? lassitude!
9 april 2001
bright sunny finally spring (almost summer??) weather
going to goodwill with jesse (agh! hit me with an umbrella! i did not need to buy stuff! but i did.)
overheard in kohlberg: "oh, so you're saying 'fuck' works better because it's an action verb?"
thunderstorm (first real one, and i stood in the rain in my green linen dress, and i remembered how much i love the smell right before a storm, thunderhungry.)
earthlust (giant rainbow pinwheel thing!)
hot hot too hot, i am pathetic
getting a sheet of 16 pictures for $8 after having paid more than $20 for 4 a few weeks ago (i am a moron moron moron)
8 april 2001
being accosted somewhat randomly to help diaper a baby in a parking lot (at least it was someone i knew accosting me. still strange. but i got to hold a baby.)
knees - no running, still hurt from dancing.
lots of parents and specs coming to parrish desk. i was nice, though. to their faces.
the Big-Ass Cockroach that scuttled under the couch when i turned on the lights (it wasn't really that big, i guess... its ass certainly wasn't... but i was still extremely displeased. wrathful. i will take vengeance.)
fragmentedness. this is what i am.
7 april 2001
dad and his cell phone (now they're calling me from some fable opera thing in middletown, then con & lucy's house. fun toy.)
time code (i rather enjoyed the trotsky in the house song...)
squ's pink party (i danced for three hours. my knee hurts. so much good bad music!)
unproductive day (worked on earthlust page for hours and hours... so not really unproductive... but not what i needed to be doing.)
breaking my ID card (while dancing... to ice, ice, baby... oh god.)
6 april 2001
skirt and green shiny flip-flops
grapevine concert (despite extremely late columbia kingsmen)
cool and rainy
flip-flops eat feet
5 april 2001
tofutti in sharples
reading on parrish beach (there was a book open, and my face was near it. on it. for a good hour and a half.)
dance (and talking to joanna about the apartment.)
forecast: 81 on monday? no! no! aaagggh i hate heat...
the necessary end (not a best thing, not a worst thing, just a thing, strange thing? something. agh... *silence* i don't know...)
do you know that sometimes you can paint a piece of old furniture so many times that you don't know when the wood has rotted out from under the paint and then you find out all of a sudden when you try to use it like any other piece of furniture and it just falls in on itself? i was thinking about that today.
4 april 2001
warm windy sun-filled weather
WA conference: i think the first useful one i've ever had.
a good conversation while walking back to ML -- kept walking for another 10 or 15 minutes to finish it (too bad i was, uh, the only one there...)
receiving e-mail addressed "Goddess of all goddesses!"
workshop... i am just not in a poetry mood. i don't like anything i've written for that class, or possibly ever. some stuff other people do is okay. sorta. blah.
weather... i feel that strange warm weather unsettled mood returning
3 april 2001
e-mail from the dancing ferret place (now i cannot tell if i want to work there, i would need another job anyway, i do not know if it is music i like, but it sounds so cool, but now i can't remember if it pays, oh it had better or i just don't care!)
bob kerrey lecture (i am not quite sure what i think of him. he spoke well, but i am still... feeling uninformed. ambivalent.)
yes, it was amusing the other day when we had that talking-to-yourself-and-responding conversation... but i don't even know how many times today i've hissed 'leave me the hell alone' under my breath while walking by myself
2 april 2001
nice long lunch
survivor and bad tv with jesse
branen's teletubby rant (i mentioned that i had to write a political poem for class... i should've know better.)
realizing i'll probably never actually wear the horrendous bright pink sweater, much as it amuses me
reading the poetry workshop binder after trying to work on my poem
worried discontented sarah
computer requiring four ctrl-alt-deletes and end tasks to finally shut down
1 april 2001
tofutti (ooh! if they just keep that up, i can be vegan forever. only i'm fond of cheese, too. hrm.)
april fool's day: dan and i started laughing hysterically on the way back to ML when we realized that the bells were ringing backwards; the stairwell in parrish had a rainbow string webbed spiral (more impressive than last year's, by far); and some random sort of funny other things.
tofutti at both meals is very very excessive. but i've been deprived!
short run (people on my playground, aching legs.)
31 march 2001
maypole dance (and it went perfectly, after all that worry. i even had fun.)
mixed company singing in the bell tower
tarble dinner with david (paleontologists? other things? what?)
the first half of the b minor mass
rose tattoo cafe (definitely worth skipping the second half of the mass for, sorry. yay allen and his dulcimer! the wandering warriors were great, too. i will have to go to more of these.)
sean email, even when it's short
aimless sleeping (vague afternoon nappishness, noise next door, blah.)
mouse skeleton in the boiler room -- all bits. tail bones with fur on, skull, a few feet, ribs and spine all curled up.
30 march 2001
haircut, at long last
lentils at sharples (yum! also the only thing i really ate.)
sharples III opening (galen's pottery and ben's photographs. very nice. i didn't know what to say in the little book, though. i never do.)
phone call from mutti
vegan apple crisp from lenny and friends
weird phone call (apparently i'm involved with the art department and i do receptions? i am not who he thought i was.)
you know that ridiculous anxiety where you wish you could cry even though you haven't for a couple of years despite your best efforts and you know you're being quite unreasonable but can't help it but what else can you do? maybe, maybe not. i do. it eventually goes away, though.
29 march 2001
a cd in the mail (i send them money! they send me things! what could be better? well, maybe if we took out the money part...)
finished with the ass-thetics midterm. not really that bad, after all.
rosencrantz and guildenstern are dead (but their play went quite well, i thought. the plastic costumes looked really cool, and people -- jesse, david, hollis, alyssa, everyone -- were all great. and what an excellent play, just in general-- i'd never seen it before.)
28 march 2001
talking to a spec in kohlberg. he seemed convinced.
veggie night at sharples (beautiful cellophane noodles and brightly colored vegetables and things! but i still disapprove of the propaganda.)
computer (who knows what it's doing now... always something new...)