Student: "You were in a class for 15 minutes and couldn't tell if it was Comp Sci or History?!"
Student: "What happens if you're caught drinking while you have a spec over?"
Robin Mamlet: "You're kicked out. ... No, just kidding."
Raquel: "I was in The Willets today."
Laurel: "The Willets? Like The Ghetto?"
Chris: "So if you skip breakfast, can you use that credit to go buy food at Tarble?"
Mike: "Yeah, but you could only get breakfast there."
Chris: "Those bastards are thinking ahead!"
Adrian: "I'm gonna go purge now."
Eve: "You know, the scary thing is that that could have been a real fire and they only sent one fucking car - without a hose!"
David: "It's like a Pavlov experiment - honk the horn and watch people run to the
shuttle."
Wayne: "Yeah, we have pellets for that, too."
Adrian: "I'm gonna put the fail in 'pass/fail'!"
Adrian: "There's nothing left of me but the wall... and maybe Comrade Lenin."
Kevin: "That's like licking mud off a pig."
[overheard in Sharples]
Student: "Hey, no molestation on the stairs!"
Nelson [to Andrea]: "Well, we could put Regina between you and me..."
Regina: "Do you know how sex works?
Kevin: "I had to go through his bookbag the other day, and I don't like that...
you know, because of all his personal items and things."
Dave: "My porn and condoms."
Kevin: "And your tampons."
Andrea: "Kevin's trying to figure out my bra size!"
[in Kohlberg at night]
Student: "Yeah, it's in 332 and 333. Do you have a key to them? ... Do you have a gun?"
David: "This isn't caffeinated."
Kevin: "Yes it is, I can see the bubbles coming up!"
Dave: "... That's carbonation."
Dave: "The vegans are encroaching on the ice cream bar!"
Kevin: "I preach tolerance of vegans!"
Dave: "Damn them to hell!"
Student in Kohlberg: "I'm gonna 'do my reading' - i.e., fall asleep in a big comfy chair!"
Sarah: "Hey, Shi Laoshi, do you know anything about the electromagnetic spectrum?"
Rob: "Hey, our dorm is burning down! Oh, yeah, it's April Fool's!"
Chaos: "SWIL regards the housing lottery as something of a spectator sport - which it is."
Bohee: "David, never forget the fact that I have a key to your room."
David: "Bohee, never forget the fact that I don't keep any incriminating evidence
in my room."
David: "I'm going to go be antisocial and stuff."
Catherine: "Ok. I'll just plot your death."
Kevin: "I'm going to castrate you with this spoon!"
Andrea: "I wish I could just walk around naked."
Catherine: "Remind me not to go around killing people and getting caught for it."
Sarah Kate: "The second part's more important, I think."
Dave: "Well, in the animal kingdom, it's always the males trying to impress the females. But with human males it's different - it's not like we can drop trou and say 'look what I have!'"
Dave: "You know, it's probably not a good idea to use a flash when taking a picture of me in a dangerously high place."
David: "Cool! So you've got all week with nothing to do!"
Crystal: "That's right - just drink and carouse."
David: "How do you guys get rid of all the bodies?"
Yee Lin: "I don't know - I think it happens so often that Public Safety just regularly
comes up here to get rid of them..."
Some kid: "I'm the lemming! Come on!"
absolut swarthmore
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