Prof. Kurth: "The biggest single lie taught on this campus - and of course we know there are many lies taught on this campus - or at least I do, and I hope you do, too - is embodied by my department!"
Prof. Kurth: "By 1990 they had about 35,000 nuclear weapons - but not to worry, we about 40,000!"
Prof. Kurth: "I'm a complete defeatist. I'm a complete pacifist. I'm a complete pansy."
Prof. Lorraine: "So what is the ultimate end of an acorn?"
Danielle: "To feed a squirrel."
Prof. Lorraine: "...No. No, no, no."
Prof. Kurth: "I hate that Lyndon Johnson. I think he's the worst president in US history. If somebody gave me a piece of dynamite and said you've gotta blow up somebody's grave, it'd be his!"
Prof. Reeves: "There were parts where Bush was extremely incoherent and you had to ask yourself, 'What the hell did he just say?'"
Prof. Lorraine: "Alright, how many people here are brain dead?"
Prof. Kurth: "Now it will be extremely ironic if George W. Bush gets himself elected to office and he thinks that he's more intelligent than the American public."
Prof. Kurth: "This is why that oinking swine... I'm sorry - George W. Bush - went into the Air Force reserve!"
Prof. Lorraine: "I know, we'll just work from handouts today, you don't have to act as if you've actually read anything!"
Prof. Kurth: "If Governor Jeb Bush calls out the Florida National Guard and Governor George Bush calls out the Texas National Guard and there a pitched battle between the national guards and the Vice President's Secret Service personnel, you can feel free to write about that, as well."
Prof. Kurth about the election: "At least thus far nobody has died in this. It won't be world historical until somebody dies."
Prof. Kurth: "Now he has a Ph.D., he's a tenured professor - admittedly in economics..."
Prof. Lorraine: "What is existentialism? Is it something that people wearing black think about, hanging around, smoking cigarettes and looking tired?"
Prof. Li: "Is there anyone here who was not here Monday? (sigh) I mean, welcome!"
Prof. Li: "Do you intend to be here?"
Prof. Li: "It's a really boring class."
Prof. O'Connell: "That car is a year older according to the used car market and I'm sorry, its value just goes doink."
Prof. Lorraine: "Anyone know someone who's completely dead? - I mean, metaphorically speaking."
Prof. Lorraine: "He was the father of his father, oh no, that's not right."
Prof. Lorraine: "Didn't have an affair with anyone, the poor guy!"
Prof. Lorraine: "Nietzsche was another sad, pathetic little man whose life you probably don't want to emulate."
Prof. Lorraine: "See, instead of sitting there thinking what the hell is she saying, you could get up here and beat me up."
Prof. Lorraine: "I always like to have fresh reactions before I totally destroy whatever thoughts you have."
Prof. Lorraine: "Can I ask a personal question? Has anyone here actually done the reading?"
Prof. Lorraine: "This is why I try to let you not write papers on Heidegger..."
Prof. O'Connell: "I'll give you a hint. The correct answer is shorter than the incorrect answer. In terms of letters. The first letter is between 'L' and 'O'."
Prof. Lorraine: "How many of you saw Traffic?" [two people raise their hands] "Ok, none of you ever get out much."
Prof. O'Connell: "How about I cancel the second writing assignment?"
Student: "Are you serious?"
Prof. O'Connell: "Yeah."
Prof. Lorraine: "I could decide next week to not come in and teach existentialism at all and instead teach something useful and interesting."