Darius: "I thought that the 13th Warrior was very historically accurate - up to the part where the half-man half-bear warriors started slaughtering people."
Darius: "If they call you for making a new point in the rebuttal, the best thing to do is to stare down at your flowpad, look amazed, and circle something on it."
Darius: "In response to concerns about enslavement to some sort of grand Peaslee Nationals Project a la the Matrix, this should not be a concern - the small electronic devices implanted in your heads during the first meeting will induce pleasurable sensations that will disguise your servitude to the Peaslee Monolith."
After a debate on the existence of God:
John: "I'd like to thank both teams for a very interesting round; you're all going
to hell."
Matt from Princeton: "I'm assuming that people at Swarthmore do date."
David: [shakes head]
Matt: "Ok, so maybe they don't..."
John: "Wow, there's weed in here?!"
Mimi: "WHAT??"
John: "Just kidding."
Darius: "This is, of course, assuming that you'll make it back at all. Because we are going to Columbia, you should probably make contingency arrangements with friends in the event that you are shot and have to spend the weekend in a NYC hospital."
Tenaya: "Where's Jeremy?"
Rob: "He went to a poetry reading."
Tenaya: "A poetry reading??"
Rob: "Yeah. I think he has issues."
Mimi: "Point of information!"
David: "No thank you, sit down."
Mimi: "But it's really good!"
David: "Sure, okay!"
John: "Here, maybe some gangsta rap will calm you down."
John: "I don't believe in your 'physics' chicanery, Tenaya!"
Alfred from Canada: "How can we take action now? We're going into the millennium!"
David: "The world's going to end!"
Kevin from Canada: "We've come down here today and blown you away with our knowledge of America!"
Rob: "Do you have village wisemen in Bulgaria?"
Jeremy: "All you have is your feminine charm... and your vodka."
Rob: "Does killing happen? Yeah. But can we stop it? No. So why bother?"
Rob: "Guess what? I found out Amos's middle name. And guess how? I asked Jeeves!"
Kuzman: "The only thing that I remember vividly is that John was waving his arms."
Marvin: "I just got called John's tiger... that's enough."
Mimi: "Well, we had this man-beast third round..."
Tenaya: "Someone needs to die! I'll start taking volunteers before selecting people at random."
Rob: "My aunt's coming tomorrow."
Tenaya: "Fuck your aunt! You need to pay homage to Uncle Peaslee!"
Mimi [to Rob]: "Suck it, bitch!"
Rob: "There's enough Rob to go around for everyone."
Tenaya: "That's it, tiger!"
John: "All right, Dutchess!"
Darius: "I'm not really fond of old people."
Jeremy: "What are we going to do, hijack somebody? Is that standard practice in Bulgaria?"
Rob: "Do they have cars in Bulgaria?"
Darius: "I hate the sun; the sun is bad."
[about Johns Hopkins' Penta & Gibson]
Jeremy: "I was attracted to them."
Sarah: "That's what I do instead of religion."
Phil: "What, hate Texas?"
Katie from Franklin & Marshall: "'I'm majoring in prostitution.' What's the final exam like?"
Mary from NYU: "There were a few bombs, and many other hotels, and stuff like that."
Amanda from Georgetown: "Basically, we're here to argue that men are better than women."
David: "Ok, I have three points that I'd like to talk about: sex, sex, and sex."
Jeremy: "I'm kinda pregnant, too."
Sarah: "They sent it to you in the admissions packet."
Jeremy: "I didn't get any admissions packet!"
Rob: "So they have an ancient Bulgarian? Like Ye Olde Bulgarian?"
Dan: "So the UMCP novices, Tweedledee and Tweedledum..."
Rob: "They were saying, 'It took all my willpower to avoid rushing the podium!' I turned around and was like, 'Hi!'"
Tenaya: "It was a real artsy dorm. Think PPR times ten!"
Rob: "Yo, shutup!"
Jeremy: "'Good morning'? What's that supposed to mean?"
Tenaya: "She's deeply attracted to you, Jeremy. Right, Dan?"
Dan: "She wants to fuck you like an animal."
Rob: "I had fun."
Tenaya: "Was it Mimi that you had fun with or Bryn Mawr that you had fun with?"
Darius: "Why would you have a license? You get shot if you have a car in Connecticut!"
John: "I speak real good."
David: "I've worked on it for seven and a half hours today."
Phil: "Ha! I've barely been up for seven and a half hours."
David: "Fuck you."
Tenaya: "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I was traumatized by people having sex on my hall."
Rob: "I think Marina and Jeremy would make a hot couple!"
Marina: "Roberts is a really nice dorm."
John: "The sky is blue."
Rob: "What's that supposed to mean-"
John: "Bitch, shut up!"
Dan: "How about the Spartacus tournament? I don't know what that means, but it sounds cool."
Jeremy: "Yam doesn't like you."
Rob: "That's because I called him 'Yam' in a round!"
John: "No one is allowed to have fun in this room, got it?"
Marina: "Do we have to wear dresses with naked backs?"
Dan: "Yes!"
Tenaya: "And naked fronts."
Dan: "It was nasty - I couldn't stop watching!"
Tenaya: "We're not giving him an 0-4 round, we're giving him an 0-5 round!"
Tenaya: "You'll make signs like "Kohlberg", "This way to GA", or "Watch out for SWIL."
John: "So all of this might just be male power dynamics. Or he could just be gay."
John: "Mimi and I don't have to stay together, do we?"
Tenaya: "You have to sleep in the same bed."
Tenaya: "Where is Dan?"
John: "I'm right here!"
Darius: "They were protesting the IMF and got arrested outside the World Bank."
Tenaya: "...But you'll be slaving."
Dan: "Here, here!"
Dan: "You've got me driving during quarters on Sunday, which assumes that I won't be debating in quarters."
Tenaya: "I am a militant woman. I'm going for grrl power!"
Marina: "Do you have the thing where if you sit on the edge of the table you won't get married?"
Rob: "It's not horrible but it's not fantastic."
John: "What, your haircut?"
Tenaya: "You might want to go to the APDA meeting, sit with Dan, whisper in his ear, lick him..."
John: "It's like a post-modern German film."
Marina: "Yeah, like a German porno."
John: "Well, we probably don't want to talk to each other, so dinner's out."
Tenaya: "Recycling is not worth it."
Marina: "I don't know about religion; I come from a Communist country."
Tenaya: "Greece is not evil."
Marina: "Yes it is!"
Marina: "And Texas should be independent, right?"
Phil: "Mmm... I don't care."
Darius: "Give it back to Mexico!"
absolut swarthmore
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