Tenaya: "What was so bad about Vietnam?"
Jeff: "If you're wearing less than pants during rebuttals, you're probably doing it wrong."
Jeff: "This is not going to be covered in the safer sex workshop, so listen now!"
Tenaya: "The more 'Young Republican' you look, the better!"
Jeff: "How's the party planning going, Allan?"
Allan: "Um, it's in the party planning computer, Jeff."
Ian: "What is more essential to the American system than screwing over the next guy?"
John: "Forget the stupid Tiki Torch rant, it's DEATH!"
David: "What's the point of hooking up with someone if you're never going to see them again?"
Jeff: "The goth party was playing N'Sync?"
Allan: "Well there goes one of the parties that didn't suck."
Allan: "If everything's legal, there's no crime!"
Tenaya: "Ok, executive order #26084."
Dan: "Stardate 3182.5..."
Tenaya: "Ok, we have a few things to talk about before we talk about other things."
Tenaya: "There will be no more of this Sabbath observance!"
John: "Yay, infidel!"
John: "Blue shirts, red ties!"
Tenaya: "It's a Doublemint commercial!"
[during Gore's speech in the Presidential debate]
John: "...the wealthiest one percent!"
Allan: "We should do this as a drinking game!"
Tenaya: "Incest is great!"
Tenaya: "Once again, I seem to have missed out on the Peaslee crack smoke..."
Jeff: "So comfy. My ass is padded."
Matt: "What a bitch. I hope I debate that bitch!"
Matt: "Does she still have the hair, like you can't figure out what's in the back of it, like a dead animal?"
Dan: "Cool, it's like Road Trip! We can eat mice!"
Allan: "it was just a room, but it was kind of cool knowing how many countries had been fucked over in this room."
Dan: "You should have said that Marvin is letting us go without a budget cut, but don't tell anyone."
Tenaya: "Where's the Rob-Bitch?"
Jeff: "You mean Jeremy?"
Rob: "I wanna piss on that fire hydrant. I have this animalistic urge..."
Tenaya: "So we'll have the Allan Friedman APDA hookup award!"
Rob: "I think this should be like a fraternity where the president gets to sleep in here."
John: "If she were a Rhodes Scholar she'd be in Rhodes right now!"
Tenaya: "You almost did hotel & restaurant management?"
Allan: "They have a wine tasting class!"
Rob: "Yeah, I didn't get any Hate Monkeys."
John: "That's because people who hate you aren't literate."
John: "You should sent justatip.com to them: 'Your debate sucks!'"
Jeff: "Or APDA net."
Rob (about the GW banquet): "It's like take any normal food and smash it up with beans, and I hate beans!"
Jeremy: "No need to time me, I'll be in and out, that's my style."
Tenaya: "Please do not draw penises on your ballots!"
Tenaya: "He was just above retarded monkey level."
Rob: "They're also bastards in rounds. They're so mean. I got called a Republican."
John: "You do not steal Jesus!"
Rob: "Conservative women are hot."
John: "I was imitating Lady Godiva so I just got on my horse and threw off my clothes."
Jeff: "It's like three murders and a happy squirrel family."
Rob: "And if you judge any hot girls, pick them up and give them my number."
Rob: "So this must suck."
Princeton girl: "Excuse me?"
Rob: "This must suck."
Princeton girl: "What does?"
Rob: "Being you."