Welcome to Willets First South Quotes the Four back

I have no comprehension about kissing anyone in this country because people in this country have such beautiful, beautiful teeth!
-Adrian Daub, upon visiting America and comparing its oral hygiene standards to that of his primitive barbarian homeland of Germania.

Robyn: (reading off Peter Vella box) "...with the subtle suggestion of fresh berries." Very subtle.
Tony: Well, just one berry.

Willing prey does not make them any less the victim.

I feel like wearing spandex to dinner.
-Ted (for no apparent reason)

Wet dreams are the worst.

I like teeth.
-Ted (in reference to getting blow jobs)

Alyssa: Are you wearing black underwear today?
Tony: Underwear?

Does it involve touching?
-Megan on Laurel's Saturday night.

Krista: It's only 24 minutes for your country.
Farid: it's not even my country!
(on the long version of the census)

I figure if you pull it down far enough, there's gotta be cleavage in there somewhere.
-Erica (on her shirt)

Hopefully the game room will be done before my kids come here. No, never mind, my kids are going to Harvard.
-Chris, to Al Bloom

Krista's First Law:
The closer you dance, the hotter you get.

I couldn't imagine life without being sexually assaulted everyday.

Shakespeare's dead...archaeology--you can dig up Shakespeare.

Chris drank a can of whoop ass last night and woke up black and weighing a hundred pounds less.
-Dr. Phat Tony, on the convenient miracles of IM basketball substitution.

In the way that a woman with dentures is attractive, so is an alligator without teeth.
-Justin, on the curious theoretical practices of hicks in the Everglades.

Claire says my nipple is going to turn black and fall off!!!
-Megan after running in near-absolute zero weather and wondering if her nipple was frost bitten.

Tony is the only nice guy in the school with a penis.
-Rachel to Tony
Don't make me go in there and show you.
-Tony to Rachel, referring to his penis

We desperately need a girl.

I sound like my dad when he brushes his teeth.
-Alyssa with her head in a trashcan on the sound of her puking

Eric: Paul, you're getting pretty good at Starcraft—you might even beat me one day.
Paul: Ooohh, the student becomes THE PUPIL!

SQU strikes SWIL--fruits vs. freaks
-Adrian, on widespread animosities among semantics class factions and his proposed means of dealing with the offenders

I'm very tutu!

I'm going to cry.
-Farid (on calculus)

This may be a fat-headed question...

Wasn't that a cute woodchuck?
-Eric on Groundhog's Day

I don't drink that often.

I'm a tough broad.
I am a bu-nny rabbit?
ba-dminton birdie?
bu-nsen burner?

...as smooth as an 8-year-old boy's hairless ass

Paul, your ass is as smooth and hairless as an eight year old's
-Uncle Stan

Life would be much easier if you didn't have to talk about circumcision at all...Castration jokes are also not my favorite thing.
-Professor William Turpin

I have beer in my cleavage!!!

Mom had no idea...
-Alyssa, puking into a garbage can that her loving mother bought for her
-Alyssa, filling a bucket that her mother bought for her in order to allow her roommate to be "put out" by her screw date
-Claire, filling aforementioned bucket in order to allow her roommate to roll in good mud for her screw date
-Claire, on the amount of tuition that must go to buying alcohol (i.e. SAC funding)

[overheard] Megan: What do you think this is?
Roban (defensively): That's not a man-gina!

That has to be the sexiest thing about watching guys play basketball.
-Krista (yes, really, Krista), about three pointers from way outside, Sanjay-style

Au contraire back to you, missy!

Shit, I'm stuck in your lamp.
-Paul to Roban

It goes along with that whole doggy style thing.

Eat my candy, it's for you, Paul.

The [housing] lottery did to me a lot of things they don't teach about in health class.
-Eric, on being anally raped by Myrt

Yeah, me and my plethora of men.

Do [reserved-student] emails go just to students?

Does that make me a gigolo?
-Krista, on breeding guinea pigs for fun and profit

Chris, while looking at pictures of the beautiful Welsh countryside:
"My parents and I are driving in the RV to New Orleans this summer."

They've got girls there...
-Eric, contemplating a trip to Bryn Mawr on his mission to get some

"If I see the cunt of my woman, it is the pathway for my cock. Women, too, can think like that, 'oh, that's the cock of my man, it is like my meat [food, semen]'"
-from Guarding of the Flutes, assigned reading for Soc. Anth. I

You're a bad left cheek.
-Rishi, trying to produce more synectoches (Nori, Rishi, Ted, and Claire sitting in the hall at 3:40 AM, procrastinationg while discussing synectoches.

Bestiality? Oh, I thought you meant my sister!

Paul: Bedtime for Bonzo!
Eric: That's what my mom says.
All: Yeah, we know.

Crisco and vodka? That's so nasty!
-Roban, confused on what is in Cisco

Roban Kramer? Who's Roban Kramer?
-RA Chris Sajdera, 3/27/00, after being his next door neighbor's RA for only seven months

It's a good thing I can store up giz. Otherwise this gun would be useless.
-Eric, playing an Unreal tournament and not getting some