And Even More Quotes back

That's not sex!
-Rachel describing her lounge activities with Corey

...children with brains the size of houses.

Ever see Mars Attacks?

I'd like an order of cheese fries, and can you put as much cheese on as legally possible?

Ok, do me.
-Paul to Eric

-Claire, studying her computer screen

If only she wasn't my mother. There are so many things...

Thy rod comforts me, Roban.
-Paul to Roban as he quotes Psalm 22: "yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of evil, thy ROD and thy STAFF they comfort me"

Roban: Rishi, no more penis jokes for the next hour!
Rishi: I've been shafted again.
Roban: Rishi, that was a penis joke.
Rishi: That's ok, I can't come up with any more.

Maestro Whitman- I didn't spend six years in evil musicians school to be called Mister, thank you very much.

That's be like if I said 'Grab my tit' instead of 'I'm performing a breast exam on myself'

Why do they need to sing?
-on singing slave girls

The asses have met their sacks.
-Professor Bensch's quote of the day on the blackboard.

Pissing in bottles, playing Madden, poor sobriety in general.
-Rob and Blake

-Paul, describing Claire's role in WE next semester (playing oboe in the audience)

I don't recall ever showing you my little Rishi.
-Rishi to Paul

Ok, I'll just pretend you're a hoagie.
-Chris (to Erica)

I'll give Akira a blow job for queso.

I think your breasts are pessimistic.
-Rishi, to Alyssa
[Fight Club] is the logical extension of pointy.
-Roban 10/22

Robyn: Hey, Claire, they have queso at John Harvard's.
Claire: Who's John Harvard?

Eric is so much funnier than the jokes he tells.

NO-RRRIII!!!! I'm scratching my ass! Come on, you'll enjoy it!

Paul: What's that book about?
Eric: Yo momma.
(In reference to an economics book entitled Everything For Sale)

Oh fuck! I hate fucking snowmen!!!
-Alyssa, just in time for the holidays

She's saying that yo momma gave oral sex to Biblical prophets.
-Paul explaining the joke to Eric

They don't look that big, you just have a small face...I realize how you just have big breasts, not a small face.
-Roban, commenting on Megan wearing her bra on her face

Oh yes my lord, he wore his beaver up.
-Hamlet I.i.230

If I'm going to be amoral, get piss-ass drunk and vomit on the floor, at least I'll do it where a Republican has to clean it up.
-Gabe 11/13

Kiss my corduroy ass.

Fuck morphology.

You know it really makes me feel alive when I find myself with one sock on...It makes me realize these are things beyond my control.
-Alyssa, on her religious beliefs

Krista's note to self: Stay away from Thailand and short India (since they're 4'7" and she's 6'0")

Do you ever watch NFL games are realize all of them have cocks?

Can't he just go some where in the woods?
-on the excessive use of wacky weed

Maman, regarde le phoque!
-Hollis, speaking more phonetically than literally

Life is one long multiple orgasm
-Prof. Nat Anderson

Writing is a relative term.