Senior year quotes

Nori (trying to learn java): so if i defined a different constructor with (String my ass, int yo mama's age, Gnome Rumple, and double your height)...
Spiegel (trying to teach java): well, if the data types are all the same you cant do that cause they all have to have the same signature.

Spiegel: If there's one thing I love, it's computer science.
Alyssa: You are so cool.
Spiegel: Shut up. At least I'm not reading a retarded book!

Spiegel: We wanted to throw mad hatter tea parties on the roof of sproul. Someone would dress like a fish, one as the mad hatter, and I'd wear a dress...
Nori: And be alice?
Spiegel: Oh, I didnt even think about that! I just wanted to wear a dress!

"This is the problem with postmodernism: you need to kick Matt Rubin in the nads and not kick him in the nads."

"I think there is something very deep in my You’re blah blah having to do with your makeup? Your genes? Genetics!"
-Alyssa (in reference to In Your Eyes)

"What is that blast of cold air?" –Laurel
"The open window!" –Amelia

"I need some form of—that’ll work..." -Claire
"Dental work?" -Gabe

"He shuttles back and forth. It’s an axis of evil bus."
-Paul on how Osama BinLadin travels between Iraq and North Korea

Claire: I have Crime and Punishment and...
Paul: So I Married and Axe Murderer...Brothers Karamatzov.

Nori throws a salt shaker.
Nori throws a second salt shaker.
Nori turns to the next table: "Can I borrow your salt?"

"Paces parties are not related to relationships."
-Laurel, sage truism

"It makes me profane."
-Alyssa on drunken sexual frustration

"Being drunk is not based in reality."

Alyssa: "My how time flies when you're drinking whisky."
Joe: "Shut up, Alyssa."

"Identity crisis espresso--Maybe I can be a cappuccino when I grow up."
-Nori (about espresso with foamed milk post resume writing)

Jenny: I've never understood the meaning of heavy petting.
Paul: Below the waist.
Jenny: Like what?
Paul: Like, the knee.

"You're really nice and cool. Too bad I can't talk to you cause my head will explode."
-Amelia, on Andrew Gregory connections

"Can you think of anything more advanced?" -Jenny
"Than Paisley People?" -Roban

Switzerboarding with Snigoggles.

"Banana is one of those flavors that even bananas shouldn't be flavored."

"Mule--butt plug?"

"Satsumas. Mandarin oranges. Christmas, easy to peel, doo pea doo pea doo, you know?"

"Am I going to get lynched in my sleep?" -Rebecca
"You can't get lynched in your sleep, we have to at least wake you up!" -Laurel

"I'm wearing high heels. What...the fuck."
-Alyssa, on her way to the winter formal

"So you're like cleaning out your basement wich is full of gelatinous dry wall and dead fish...a quarter cup of bleach to a gallon of wAAter."

"Well, I was talking to...what if you could smoke green beans?"

"Claire--you're a goddess. Laurel--you're also not half bad."
-Alyssa (upon my bringing her coffee)

".....have I mentioned...that people who oversexualize everything annoy me?"

"In the roll of Zeus, we have...Ross I guess?"
-Alyssa, on her non-monolith pantheon boy mesh

"I think...." -Alyssa
"...oh well that's good, cause I'm not anymore." -Amelia

"You know, cichlids, the fishes?"
-Sarah (as she shakes her ass, fishy-style)

"No--the red ones...I have to have a red one! Oh, I'm gla--oop, shit! The red ones are my favorite."
-Alyssa, on M&M's

"Roban...optometry is not your thing, is it?"
-Claire, watching Roban shine his pocket flashlight into each pupil

"Shit, where'd that come from? There's so much semen around here."
-Mike (on the likelyhood of his lesbian sister accidentally getting pregnant)

" people they mean 'phallace-bearing individuals...PBIs."