Senior year quotes
back

Nori (trying to learn java): so if i defined a different constructor with (String my ass, int yo mama's age, Gnome Rumple, and double your height)...
Spiegel (trying to teach java): well, if the data types are all the same you cant do that cause they all have to have the same signature.

Spiegel: If there's one thing I love, it's computer science.
Alyssa: You are so cool.
Spiegel: Shut up. At least I'm not reading a retarded book!

Spiegel: We wanted to throw mad hatter tea parties on the roof of sproul. Someone would dress like a fish, one as the mad hatter, and I'd wear a dress...
Nori: And be alice?
Spiegel: Oh, I didnt even think about that! I just wanted to wear a dress!

"This is the problem with postmodernism: you need to kick Matt Rubin in the nads and not kick him in the nads."
-Laurel

"I think there is something very deep in my genital...no. You’re blah blah having to do with your makeup? Your genes? Genetics!"
-Alyssa (in reference to In Your Eyes)

"What is that blast of cold air?" –Laurel
"The open window!" –Amelia

"I need some form of—that’ll work..." -Claire
"Dental work?" -Gabe

"He shuttles back and forth. It’s an axis of evil bus."
-Paul on how Osama BinLadin travels between Iraq and North Korea

Claire: I have Crime and Punishment and...
Paul: So I Married and Axe Murderer...Brothers Karamatzov.

Nori throws a salt shaker.
Nori throws a second salt shaker.
Nori turns to the next table: "Can I borrow your salt?"

"Paces parties are not related to relationships."
-Laurel, sage truism

"It makes me profane."
-Alyssa on drunken sexual frustration

"Being drunk is not based in reality."
-Claire

Alyssa: "My how time flies when you're drinking whisky."
Joe: "Shut up, Alyssa."

"Identity crisis espresso--Maybe I can be a cappuccino when I grow up."
-Nori (about espresso with foamed milk post resume writing)

Jenny: I've never understood the meaning of heavy petting.
Paul: Below the waist.
Jenny: Like what?
Paul: Like, the knee.

"You're really nice and cool. Too bad I can't talk to you cause my head will explode."
-Amelia, on Andrew Gregory connections

"Can you think of anything more advanced?" -Jenny
"Than Paisley People?" -Roban

Switzerboarding with Snigoggles.
-Nori

"Banana is one of those flavors that even bananas shouldn't be flavored."
-Hollis

"Mule--butt plug?"
-Roban

"Satsumas. Mandarin oranges. Christmas, easy to peel, doo pea doo pea doo, you know?"
-Robbie

"Am I going to get lynched in my sleep?" -Rebecca
"You can't get lynched in your sleep, we have to at least wake you up!" -Laurel

"I'm wearing high heels. What...the fuck."
-Alyssa, on her way to the winter formal

"So you're like cleaning out your basement wich is full of gelatinous dry wall and dead fish...a quarter cup of bleach to a gallon of wAAter."
-Amelia

"Well, I was talking to...what if you could smoke green beans?"
-Alyssa

"Claire--you're a goddess. Laurel--you're also not half bad."
-Alyssa (upon my bringing her coffee)

".....have I mentioned...that people who oversexualize everything annoy me?"
-Laurel

"In the roll of Zeus, we have...Ross I guess?"
-Alyssa, on her non-monolith pantheon boy mesh

"I think...." -Alyssa
"...oh well that's good, cause I'm not anymore." -Amelia

"You know, cichlids, the fishes?"
-Sarah (as she shakes her ass, fishy-style)

"No--the red ones...I have to have a red one! Oh, I'm gla--oop, shit! The red ones are my favorite."
-Alyssa, on M&M's

"Roban...optometry is not your thing, is it?"
-Claire, watching Roban shine his pocket flashlight into each pupil

"Shit, where'd that come from? There's so much semen around here."
-Mike (on the likelyhood of his lesbian sister accidentally getting pregnant)

"...by people they mean 'phallace-bearing individuals...PBIs."
-Kellam