AAPP second year student quotes (summer 2002)back

"They'd get raging hardons and not be able to run."
-Hannah, on why the Italian football team refused to play against women

"It's the smell. It does crackers things to me nads."
-Phil, regarding vanilla

Mikey: More like the Anglo-American Pub in Pompeii.
Phil: Brought to you by Wuhrer.

"Let's hope no one is bionic shagging tonight."

"My other hole is a cistern."

"Oh, bloody hell."
-Rick, on the discovery of a big hole in AA208

Damian: Fabulous!
Briece: What?
Damian: It's water! Running down the hill. It's fabulous!

Gary: Which is famous for very graphic paintings.
Stevo: And lewd and disgusting.

"Because there's nothing like some porn in a rain shower."

"...or if it's an upper class brothel. You come in here, get rid of your kit and say 'I want numerrr...five.'"

"This is not the sort of seedy regio 7 sort of area that you don't come to. You come here if you want cakes."

"It stands for Good Shit."
-Simon, on the GS supermarcato

"When you're cold-working an object and just....whacking at it..."

"Yes...I am a dog also. Woof woof."

-Nicole (what she didn't say to whatsherface)

"You know, if we made Anglo-American Pub in Pompeii, everyone would want one and we could make M O N E Y."

Briece: It's Peroni man...
Lisa: And his sidekick...
Nicole: ...Wurhur boy.
Eric: We gotta get you some tights.

"...while pretending to tap dance is the funniest thing in the world. Except for maybe penguins."

"That's not true. Monkeys aren't as funny as penguins."

"I happen to be a lesbian trapped in a man's body...trying to lick my way out."

Eric: There can only be one Peroni Man.
Lisa: And it sure as hell aint Phil.

"Sprogged is better than gism'd."

"Oh, this one's on heat. Oh great. And she's between me legs."
-Simon, about Mama

"I got a beer and I got a bitch on heat between my legs."

"Claire, now you can feel better about yourself because you saved a big fat ugly assed caterpillar."

"It looks like you've been mugged by snails."

"We're so advanced 'cause you're so fuckin' retarded."

"I've got enough change to sink an actual battle ship."

"I feel like I'm at the top of a ski lift and I've forgotten my pants."

"Dad...If we walk over there, we'll die."
-Random girl at the top of Vesuvius

Simon: Alvin, are you getting drunk tomorrow?
[Alvin nods]
Simon: You might wake up with no hair.

"I am a ranger and I am superior to all forms of human life."
-Mike Burns

"Through destruction comes enlightenment."
-Amy Wa

"This...is sexy archaeology."

"Questo, e Elmo. But Elmo keeps riding my ass, so I have to pick him out."

"I guess I'm just fucked in the head cause it works fine now."
-Diana, on the project computer

Lisa 1: Doesn't everyone seem taller at night?
Lisa 2: If that were true, I'd be nocturnal.

"If I wanted to be intimidating, I'd go rawr, like that."

"I've said three words to Sam in my life. And they were hi, hello, and hey."

"Jo mama's a Ho!"
-Lisa to Alvin

"They're kinda girly sweet, like fruity, kinda."
-Lisa, on flavored vodka

"What is it with this man fashion thing?"
-Kevin, on Italian men

"It's like the foul sex lotion of the jolly green giant."
-Phil, on Unicum

"You incompetent cocksplat!"
-Phil, to Liz

"I have a portable shit shop."
-Lisa, about the Pirate Guy's livelyhood

-Lisa, on the Rufnians

"Yeah, he bited your head off. Bited. Bited! Yeah, I can talk."

"It didn't take much doing. Just dumpy levels and Shakespeare. What can I say, I give good dumpy."

"Where'd the little winky come from?"

"Did you say something about feeling your ass in your eye?"
-Amy Dapling to Elly

"Oh. I've just creamed my pants, yeah."
-Diana, on finding an iron knife blade

From the 2001 season:

"There is this blend of fantastic wall paintings and productive lands and naked buttocks."
-Damian, on the Villa of the Mysteries

"Mail! I got mail! First time since 1997."

"Right, bang on!"
-Amy Wa

"Bloody hell, that's a wall. I'm sorry, but bloody hell!"

"I want you to imagine that I'm a pimp, and not only am I a pimp, I'm the greatest pimp in the world."
-Gary (intro to the sex tour)