4/10/96

#1 [Someone in the audience asks her to tell a story]...I don't know if this is a good story because um that's not what I do. But um anyway um I don't know if you know Neil Gaiman. He does this thing sometimes where- He's like this great writer if you don't know who he is. He's the Sandman, okay? He's writing this series right now in London for the BBC. It's so fantastic. It's about the underground and how all these rats- and I love rats!- and they live under the, you know, underneath the subway and uh anyway, I'm not gonna tell you that story. He wrote that story. He's bring that out this fall- it's going to be magic. Now, the thing is, everybody asks me, "Do you read the Sandman? Do you read all his stories?" Well, the thing is, when I get really sad and I have to go to bed in a new town every night and you know um I sit there with um some chardonnay and my little huge massive teddy bear named Fuzzy and a book of Caligula, and what happens is the man- I feel sorry for Caligula- anyway, the man comes and knocks on my door and says, "Um hello, may I um give you this package?" Neil has sent a bedtime story for me. Well, the thing about this is that Neil is a horror writer. Okay, girls? Go figure- who ever sleeps?

#2 Joel, could you get me my lip gloss? I'm DYING out here. No, the cocoa-banana, not the grape, Marcel. Thanks for looking. He has the cocoa-banana. It's right over there. I always keep it hidden by- I'm sorry but[smacks lips]- I'm desperate and he's[Caton's] tuning anyway, so- [Someone in the audience yells "Can I help you?"] Huh? You have lip gloss? yeah? What flavor? Hang on, while they're getting that, Caton- What? Grape? Ooh chocolate?! Where'd you get that? No no no no no, um, too fattening...[introduces Caton]

9/30/96

#1 It's a funny thing coming to Baltimore...because I always eat some crabs and things are just so, uh you know, it's always the same thing. I'm such a goldfish- same thing, same thing, same thing. I always eat some crabs. I always think that I'm five-years-old and I'm auditioning at the Peabody playing "You're a Grand Old Flag", and um they're sitting there like this and I go, "Do you know who John Lennon is?" and they go, "no"[?]. That always comes back to me when I play Baltimore. And I think they [don't mistake?] who he is anymore, so I think that's a very good sign.

#2 Something's[?] yes up there twinkling my favorite martian don't know who he is but I'd like to take a trip out there behind...[?] My mother says she sees them all the time. My father can't quite get it in his mind. That's alright. Our favorite martians come and play with me when they all go away...

#3 Check this one out. I don't do this hardly ever, but I'm doing it because, well, half my friends are here so if I suck, it can't be that bad. So, we're gonna try it.