"S.O.S."
lyrics and music by Benjamin Newman

/ Am G Am - / / C D F G / C D E - /

Captain, I'm getting a signal.
I'm trying to pinpoint the source.
It's garbled and faint and just barely in range,
About fifty degrees off our course.

	/ " / C D E - / " / C D FEm GAm /

	I'm trying to translate the message.
	It seems to be an S.O.S.!
	Helm control, station three, calculate delta-V,
	Someone's in trouble, we must do our best!

Captain, we don't know what hit them!
It's best we proceed with great care.
This region of space is still largely uncharted --
We have no idea what's there!

	Helm, this is no time to argue;
	Start bringing the starship about!
	We don't know the words, but it sounds like it's urgent,
	While we sit and dither, their time could run out!

		BREAK

Sir, I don't think we can make it --
It's almost twelve light-years from here.
I've run up the comp, and we might as well stop,
At this speed it will take half a year!

	In that case we'll have to go faster --
	They're just a few parsecs away;
	If we run the rig hot, and we give all we've got,
	We can cut the trip down to a matter of days!

The message is coming along, Sir.
I think that this word might be "leak".
Please note my objections, but here's the new heading --
We'll be there in roughly a week.

	Wait, Sir, I've got the translation,
	And we'd better be quick to get there:
	I hope they're still alive by the time we arrive,
	'Cause that's just when they're fixin' to run out of air!

		BREAK

Captain, I've got them on sensors.
They seem to be doing just fine.
Sir, I think it's a trick! Sir, this dust is too thick!
Sir, I think that we've just hit a mine!

	Captain, their weapons are powered!
	I think that they're going to attack!
	And we ran here so fast, we've tapped out the main batteries --
	Captain, we don't have the juice to shoot back!

Helm, take us into the minefield.
Those pirates are right on our six!
If they follow us in, there's a chance we could win.
Would they fall for their own brand of tricks?

	Captain, the mines are exploding --
	It looks like the pirates are toast!
	Sir, we took a few hits, and we're leaking -- oh shit!
	Sir, we've got reserve air for eight days at the most!

		BREAK

Captain, our signal's been answered.
I think that it's just as you feared.
Comm, please play the message just one time again,
So that all of the crew gets to hear.

	I'm sorry, I cannot assist you.
	I'm taking my helmsman's advice:
	It's none of our business, it's not worth the risk,
	And where pirates run rampant, it's best to think twice.