"The Queen of Argyle" lyrics by Benjamin Newman ttto: "The Queen of Argyll" by Andy M. Stewart / Am G / / Am C /[1. G Em :/[2. GEm Am / Listen, friends, my tale is bitter In my youth, I loved a knitter And her stitching was bewitching, fair, and fitting to beguile Every mitten, cap, and sweater Made me glad that I had met her 'Til I came to know her better as the Queen of all Argyle For when I opened up the drawer I saw within it, to my horror A cacophony of colors, disharmonious and vile Other socks may come in couples But not one there had its double For no one can match the socks knit by the Queen of all Argyle She had bid me fetch her stockings When I found a sight most shocking Socks all knit in diamond patches were amassed there in a pile Not a single patch's color Was a match for any other It was then I knew my lover was the Queen of all Argyle! For when I opened up the drawer... When she hung her socks to dry out I quite nearly plucked my eye out For the ill-met dye lots glared at me from every rhombic tile I admit it was a quandary Blindness, madness, or the laundry? Such the choice 'twas laid upon me by the Queen of all Argyle For when I opened up the drawer...