"Gods Want Apples of Discord"
lyrics by Benjamin Newman
ttto: "Boys Want Sex in the Morning" by Andrew Ratshin

/ A - - G / / / A - DE A /

Gods want apples of discord -- don't really want them, but when they see one, POW!
It has to be theirs, and none of them cares, they have to have it now!
So golden delicious, simply pernicious...  What's the whole big fuss?
Three goddesses vied, you have to decide, don't get them mad at us!

	/ D A / / / D E /

	Don't entrust a golden apple to a selfish, lovesick boy;
	He just might mess things up and so bring down the walls of Troy.
	But if the fates decree that he's the one who has to choose,
	You really ought to give him some advice that he can use...

Hera, Olympian queen, she's making a scene, she offers you the world;
Fair-haired Aphrodite says if you pick right you'll have the hottest girl;
Athena's grey eyes say you can be wise, so listen to my words:
Try keeping your cool, kid, don't be a fool, kid, slice that fruit in thirds!