"I Think I've Contracted a British Accent"
lyrics and music by Benjamin Newman

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I spent the last weekend away at a con
And met some nice people who came from beyond
The ocean we jokingly say is a "Pond"...

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And the songs that I heard, and the songs that I wrote
Made the weekend so wonderfully grand
But something contragious got into my throat,
And now I can't talk -- (well, I can.  But...)

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I think I've contracted a British accent
What am I going to do?
I think I've contracted a British accent
And I think that I caught it from you

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	I think I've contracted a British accent
	You know that this isn't my choice
	It's a virulent thing, this contagion from England
	That's messing about with my voice

What do you do with a British accent?
Is it a blessing or curse?
Throats can be cured by hot beverages
But I think tea would just make it worse

	I wasn't born with a British accent
	This isn't the way that I speak
	But now that I've got it, as likely as not
	I'll be talking like this for a week!

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		Still it's the perfect opportunity
		For a little linguistic exploring
		And when it goes a way in a matter of days
		Won't that be terrifically (boring)?

See, I rather fancy a British accent
And this one will do me just fine
I like the sound of a British accent
(Though I know that it's not really mine)

	And when it's gone, say a week from the con
	It is then I shall miss you, my friends
	And long to hear you and your British Accents
	'Cause then I can catch one a(gain)!