for daddy...

This one was inspired by one of my favorite novels, Dorothy Allison's _Bastard Out of Carolina_ .

Bone

I'd never bitten my nails, you know.

I just dug my teeth in

underneath the ridge

to draw the grit of life out

from under them...

mixed with my own saliva.

Daddy yelled at me for biting my nails though.

He didn't see what was coming.

I went clawing

through the house that way,

churning up loose floorboards to find missing proofs

of passion, sex-magic, sex-enslavery, brutal beatings and broken glass.

I went tearing through the house like that, fangs bared and nails ready.

Screaming

but on tip-toe

pulling together broken bits of china

and trying to smile.

I dug down into the basement

stirring up lost photos and bicycle parts

I burrowed through cinder block

to find the dusty bones of my older sister

I crept through every corner of the house in silence,

in hiding

in wait.

The day the house fell in on him was a blessing.

We watched his feet shrivel between the supports and the foundation.

It was then and only then that I started biting my nails, you see,

in terror that he may return.