It's happened to all of us: you dream of that man you didn't even think you knew, then find yourself blushing when you pass him in Sharples. You wake up in a cold sweat and have to reassure yourself that you have never been and never will be enrolled in Advanced Quantum Mechanics. Besides, there is no janitor's closet in that part of DuPont. Ok, so maybe it hasn't happened to all of us, but this place has certainly induced mindwarping dreams in enough of us to keep ol' Siggy Freud busy for the next hundred years. Maybe he'll hear our collective cry and come back from the dead.
So for the greater glory of amateur psychology, Spike set out to probe the subconscious of our fellow Swatties. We asked members of every class, though the twistedness of the vision seems directly related to thje amount of time spent here. We bought one of those M. Scott Peck books, went to a Landmark Forum, and with these qualifications, as a service to the community, set out to explain just exactly how freaky these individuals are:

Making Smokey's Rise, Um, Impotent

The Dream: There was a civil war going on in Willets. It was between the students and the adult RA-type people. The adult people were led by Smokey. I was the spy sent out by the students to associate with Smokey and distract him while they all made their getaway. Smokey would be coming up in the elevator and I would distract him while the students all ran down the stairs. Once you left Willets you were out of bounds, safe, so the object was to get out of Willets and escape.
Psychoanalysis: This dream indicates the dreamer's struggle with growing older. He feels a deep resentment towards authority figures, particularly ones whose authority he questions. Smokey in the elevator symbolizes the attempted rise to power by an authority figure. Since the students resent the authority, however, they run down the stairs, making Smokey's rise, um, impotent. The dreamer sees the imposition of such a guard as betrayal by the school, betrayal which has caused a civil war between the students and the non-students. At the same time, he knows younger students look to him for direction, and he feels the need to aid in their struggle, to show them the way out of Willets to safety (to Worth, perhaps.)
Psycho Analysis: Just exactly what do you mean by "associate?" Now we know why the Tray Nazi got canned.

Homosocial Act of Dancing Together

The Dream: I am in seminar but there are fifteen or twenty people in the seminar and we are all sitting in chairs around this big "living room," but it is not Abbe Blum's living room. Betsy Bolton is the prof, even though I've never had her. So we are in there and Abby Swingen and I are leading seminar but she is so far away from me that I can't see her. There are two guys in the class -- I am assuming the seminar was still Women and Lit., but I'm not really sure. There's two guys in the class and every time we are talking, they start yelling out these obnoxious, sarcastic and we're like, "Please don't do that." All of a sudden they get up and they start dancing together, like a little mambo type thing, in the middle of the seminar. They're dancing together, and I'm like, "What's going on?" Everyone starts talking as this ruckus happens and I can't find Abby. Betsy was sitting right next to me and I said, "We can talk, we can talk," so then Betsy and I and a mysterious third dream extra who just happened to be sitting with us, started having a little private seminar. Because there was all this ruckus going on around us, I was just saying all these stupid things and then I would say, "I can't believe I'm saying that, I can't believe I'm saying that."
Psychoanalysis: This dream reflects a fear of exclusion. First, her seminar size swells to unmanageable proportions, disrupting her connection with the other discussion leader. The presence of the men represent her fear of being excluded from society as a whole by her gender. The men first act as a disruptive force, drowning out the ideas of the females in the class, then they eliminate the necessity of women altogether by engaging in the homosocial act of dancing together. (In Freudian terms, the rhythmic act of the dance represents the sexual act, a complete exclusion of the female.) At this point, she takes control of the situation and creates a safe haven for discussion within her marginal space. Yet, her fear of exclusion does not subside, for she keeps saying "stupid things," which may get her thrown out of the group.
Psycho Analysis: While my code of ethics compels me to protect confidentiality, I will reveal that this dreamer lacks height. (Was that PC enough?) Short woman: I think you are afraid of being lost in a crowd. Try high heels.

Swimming With Someone Else

The Dream: I was in Bob Gross' bath tub and it was in his house, but the image I had in my mind was in the middle of Parrish. I was with someone else, but I'm not sure what was going on, but I was wearing a bathing suit and I was swimming. I was breathing underwater, so there is a high probability that I was actually snorkeling. As I was swimming, I saw the door knob turning, Bob was coming in, so I hid under the water. I had this feeling that he was going to be very upset with me, but he just sort of giggled it off and ushered us out of his bathroom, and that was it.
Psychoanalysis: Hmmm... where to start. This senior had a classic anxiety dream, reflecting a fear of graduation. Being in a bathtub, enveloping and full of water, indicates her desire to return to the womb, a warm, safe place. In this case, the mother is Swarthmore, as the bathtub is located in Parrish Hall. She feels confident in her abilities, for she can breathe under water, to survive in situations where others would usually "go under." She does not feel alone in her anxiety, for she is swimming with someone else. This symbolizes the bonds she formed with her glass over graduation anxiety. As no one can stay in the womb (or in Swarthmore) indefinitely, she eventually sees Bob Gross approaching. The turning door knob represents opportunity, a turning point. Bob Gross, an authority figure, oversees her delivery, escorts her through the door (birth canal) and happily introduces her to the outside world.
Psycho Analysis: Talk about your primal scenes. You want Bob Gross? Fathomable, I suppose, but in a bathtub? We shudder. You probably had some traumatic childhood experience with a college dean. Hey, haven't we all? Oh, and by the way, a news flash: hiding under the water in a bathtub with a snorkel on -- can't be done.

Lawn Denotes Submission

The Dream: I dreamt that Robert Fleegler ('96) was chasing me across Parrish Beach with one of those industrial powered lawn mowers the B & G staff uses. I was trying to run away, but I had this really big, heavy backpack on and I could not get away.
Psychoanalysis: Lawns represent the power/submission relationship. (Is it mere coincidence that one emblem of Swarthmore is a vast rolling lawn, "Parrish beach?") Keeping a lawn mowed keeps nature within strict boundaries. Association with the lawn mower denotes power; association with the lawn denotes submission. In this dream, the student feels overwhelmed by her classes, represented by the backpack weighing her down. Since another student is operating a mower owned by the school, she feels both the student body and the faculty/staff/administration share responsibility for her fear of being unable to keep up. As for Fleegler, well...
Psycho Analysis: Robert Fleegler! Yikes! The mind reels. Hey, loser: your backpack's no heavier than the rest of ours. Besides, B & G wouldn't let a student near one of their precious mowers.

Wielding the Traditionally Male Power

The Dream: I'm taking my honors exams. We are in a weird, small room and they tell me I have to carve my answers on a bar of soap. They are history exams and I am an English major, so I don't know the answers to anything and they are frightening, big scary questions and there are all sorts of words I don't know. I have to carve them into a block of soap and I'm carving and carving and finally the soap is falling apart, so I say, "This is stupid," and I hurl the soap across the room. The proctor said, "Well, fine, don't do them; you're just going to have to write them on the wall." So I said okay and I got this black, charcoaly type thing and I start writing it on the wall and they said, "Time's up," and I said, "No no no, I just started writing on the wall," and they said, "No, you have to turn it in now." I said, "I can't, I can't," and I started writing really, really small so they wouldn't see my hand writing, and then I woke up.
Psychoanalysis: This is a typical anxiety dream, with several atypical elements. Not only does this senior feel unprepared for the task of honors exams, she feels Swarthmore wants to make her fail. Her examiner asks her history questions, even though she majored in English, thereby asking her to rewrite her own history. To further complicate things, they expect her to carve the answers in a bar of soap. (They must not expect her to have much to say.) The soap represents cleansing; in completing the exams, she is cleansing herself of two years of seminar preparation. At first, she complies with blind obedience, but then she questions their deamnds by hurling the soap across the room. She takes up a piece of chalk (yes, that's right, a hand-held elongated object), wielding the traditionally male power of the institution. By writing on the wall, she declares a message, posting it for all to see. The examiner tries to cut her time for expression short, but she protests. It has taken four years at Swarthmore to learn to express herself; she is not ready to stop, since she has not proclaimed everything she had to say. She looks for a way to keep writing, to remain at Swarthmore undetected. The dream reflects a tension between not being allowed to leave (not passing her exams) and not being ready to leave (not saying all she needed to say.)
Psycho Analysis: Well, well, well -- I think we've found Swarthmore's elusive little graffiti artist. Well, here's a tip for you, from the professional miscreants at Spike: writing in small print so no one will see you is about as effective as hiding under bathwater.

Childhood Breakfast Cereal Experience?

The Dream: I was walking out of the Health Center, only it was where McCabe is. As I was leaving I passed the front desk and the nurse on duty asked if I could identify this woman. It happened to be a friend of mine. I gave them a positive identification, which was strange, because she was completely conscious and telling them who she was. As I left, I also passed my roommate and she gave me a bunch of her things to take back to our room. When I got down to Worth (it looked like Worth, only it had that new handicapped ramp on the east side of Parrish in front of it) someone stopped me and said, "They just took your roommate to the bathroom." I remember thinking, "Why are you telling me this?!" Then I looked under this big plum tree and there was a jack o'lantern under it. Next to the jack o'lantern was another one, only the second one was carved out of a big apple. I proceeded to try o kick it in. The person hadn't left -- she said to me, "Well, aren't you going to go up there?" I asked why I should care if she went to the bathroom. The woman said, "Not the bathroom, the death room." I didn't fully comprehend what she said; my roommate had just looked fine a minute ago. Then, I couldn't decide if I should take her stuff back to the room before I went back up; I stood there frozen, unable to decide what I should do.
Psychoanalysis: You are plagued by an unconscious fear of disorientation and displacement after graduation. The elements of the questioned identity of her friend and the displaced ramp from Parrish to Worth reveal the dreamer's fear of familiarity crumbling about her. Through miscommunication, she then learns that she cannot trust words. Instead of responding to the news of her roommate, she turns to kick in a large apple jack o'lantern. The apple jack (childhood breakfast cereal experience?) o'lantern symbolizes the foundations of her childhood, fond memories of holidays and her Catholicism (the apple symbolizing the Garden of Eden and original sin.) By kicking it in, she destroys her foundation, the things in which she placed the most faith. When she finally understands the messenger, she is faced with losing one more certainty (the friendship of her roommate) and becomes paralyzed. After having every "certainty" questioned, she cannot make the simplest decisions, let alone difficult ones such as how the hell to make enough money to eat after graduation.
Psycho Analysis: That was no dream. This only confirms our long-standing suspicions about the Health-Center-deathroom conspiracy. Linda Echols, watch your back, Spike is on to you.
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