It's happened to all of us:
you dream of that man you didn't even think you knew, then find
yourself blushing when you pass him in Sharples. You wake up in a
cold sweat and have to reassure yourself that you have never been and
never will be enrolled in Advanced Quantum Mechanics. Besides, there
is no janitor's closet in that part of DuPont. Ok, so maybe it hasn't
happened to all of us, but this place has certainly induced
mindwarping dreams in enough of us to keep ol' Siggy Freud busy for
the next hundred years. Maybe he'll hear our collective cry and come
back from the dead.
Making Smokey's Rise, Um,
Impotent
The Dream: There was a civil war
going on in Willets. It was between the students and the adult
RA-type people. The adult people were led by Smokey. I was the spy
sent out by the students to associate with Smokey and distract him
while they all made their getaway. Smokey would be coming up in the
elevator and I would distract him while the students all ran down the
stairs. Once you left Willets you were out of bounds, safe, so the
object was to get out of Willets and escape.
Psychoanalysis: This dream
indicates the dreamer's struggle with growing older. He feels a deep
resentment towards authority figures, particularly ones whose
authority he questions. Smokey in the elevator symbolizes the
attempted rise to power by an authority figure. Since the students
resent the authority, however, they run down the stairs, making
Smokey's rise, um, impotent. The dreamer sees the imposition of such
a guard as betrayal by the school, betrayal which has caused a civil
war between the students and the non-students. At the same time, he
knows younger students look to him for direction, and he feels the
need to aid in their struggle, to show them the way out of Willets to
safety (to Worth, perhaps.)
Homosocial Act of Dancing
Together
The Dream: I am in seminar but
there are fifteen or twenty people in the seminar and we are all
sitting in chairs around this big "living room," but it is not Abbe
Blum's living room. Betsy Bolton is the prof, even though I've never
had her. So we are in there and Abby Swingen and I are leading
seminar but she is so far away from me that I can't see her. There
are two guys in the class -- I am assuming the seminar was still
Women and Lit., but I'm not really sure. There's two guys in the
class and every time we are talking, they start yelling out these
obnoxious, sarcastic and we're like, "Please don't do that." All of a
sudden they get up and they start dancing together, like a little
mambo type thing, in the middle of the seminar. They're dancing
together, and I'm like, "What's going on?" Everyone starts talking as
this ruckus happens and I can't find Abby. Betsy was sitting right
next to me and I said, "We can talk, we can talk," so then Betsy and
I and a mysterious third dream extra who just happened to be sitting
with us, started having a little private seminar. Because there was
all this ruckus going on around us, I was just saying all these
stupid things and then I would say, "I can't believe I'm saying that,
I can't believe I'm saying that."
Psychoanalysis: This dream reflects
a fear of exclusion. First, her seminar size swells to unmanageable
proportions, disrupting her connection with the other discussion
leader. The presence of the men represent her fear of being excluded
from society as a whole by her gender. The men first act as a
disruptive force, drowning out the ideas of the females in the class,
then they eliminate the necessity of women altogether by engaging in
the homosocial act of dancing together. (In Freudian terms, the
rhythmic act of the dance represents the sexual act, a complete
exclusion of the female.) At this point, she takes control of the
situation and creates a safe haven for discussion within her marginal
space. Yet, her fear of exclusion does not subside, for she keeps
saying "stupid things," which may get her thrown out of the
group.
Swimming With Someone Else
The Dream: I was in Bob Gross'
bath tub and it was in his house, but the image I had in my mind was
in the middle of Parrish. I was with someone else, but I'm not sure
what was going on, but I was wearing a bathing suit and I was
swimming. I was breathing underwater, so there is a high probability
that I was actually snorkeling. As I was swimming, I saw the door
knob turning, Bob was coming in, so I hid under the water. I had this
feeling that he was going to be very upset with me, but he just sort
of giggled it off and ushered us out of his bathroom, and that was
it.
Psychoanalysis: Hmmm... where to
start. This senior had a classic anxiety dream, reflecting a fear of
graduation. Being in a bathtub, enveloping and full of water,
indicates her desire to return to the womb, a warm, safe place. In
this case, the mother is Swarthmore, as the bathtub is located in
Parrish Hall. She feels confident in her abilities, for she can
breathe under water, to survive in situations where others would
usually "go under." She does not feel alone in her anxiety, for she
is swimming with someone else. This symbolizes the bonds she formed
with her glass over graduation anxiety. As no one can stay in the
womb (or in Swarthmore) indefinitely, she eventually sees Bob Gross
approaching. The turning door knob represents opportunity, a turning
point. Bob Gross, an authority figure, oversees her delivery, escorts
her through the door (birth canal) and happily introduces her to the
outside world.
Lawn Denotes
Submission
The Dream: I dreamt that Robert
Fleegler ('96) was chasing me across Parrish Beach with one of those
industrial powered lawn mowers the B & G staff uses. I was trying
to run away, but I had this really big, heavy backpack on and I could
not get away.
Psychoanalysis: Lawns represent the
power/submission relationship. (Is it mere coincidence that one
emblem of Swarthmore is a vast rolling lawn, "Parrish beach?")
Keeping a lawn mowed keeps nature within strict boundaries.
Association with the lawn mower denotes power; association with the
lawn denotes submission. In this dream, the student feels overwhelmed
by her classes, represented by the backpack weighing her down. Since
another student is operating a mower owned by the school, she feels
both the student body and the faculty/staff/administration share
responsibility for her fear of being unable to keep up. As for
Fleegler, well...
Wielding the Traditionally Male
Power
The Dream: I'm taking my honors
exams. We are in a weird, small room and they tell me I have to carve
my answers on a bar of soap. They are history exams and I am an
English major, so I don't know the answers to anything and they are
frightening, big scary questions and there are all sorts of words I
don't know. I have to carve them into a block of soap and I'm carving
and carving and finally the soap is falling apart, so I say, "This is
stupid," and I hurl the soap across the room. The proctor said,
"Well, fine, don't do them; you're just going to have to write them
on the wall." So I said okay and I got this black, charcoaly type
thing and I start writing it on the wall and they said, "Time's up,"
and I said, "No no no, I just started writing on the wall," and they
said, "No, you have to turn it in now." I said, "I can't, I can't,"
and I started writing really, really small so they wouldn't see my
hand writing, and then I woke up.
Psychoanalysis: This is a typical
anxiety dream, with several atypical elements. Not only does this
senior feel unprepared for the task of honors exams, she feels
Swarthmore wants to make her fail. Her examiner asks her history
questions, even though she majored in English, thereby asking her to
rewrite her own history. To further complicate things, they expect
her to carve the answers in a bar of soap. (They must not expect her
to have much to say.) The soap represents cleansing; in completing
the exams, she is cleansing herself of two years of seminar
preparation. At first, she complies with blind obedience, but then
she questions their deamnds by hurling the soap across the room. She
takes up a piece of chalk (yes, that's right, a hand-held elongated
object), wielding the traditionally male power of the institution. By
writing on the wall, she declares a message, posting it for all to
see. The examiner tries to cut her time for expression short, but she
protests. It has taken four years at Swarthmore to learn to express
herself; she is not ready to stop, since she has not proclaimed
everything she had to say. She looks for a way to keep writing, to
remain at Swarthmore undetected. The dream reflects a tension between
not being allowed to leave (not passing her exams) and not being
ready to leave (not saying all she needed to say.)
Childhood Breakfast Cereal
Experience?
The Dream: I was walking out of the
Health Center, only it was where McCabe is. As I was leaving I passed
the front desk and the nurse on duty asked if I could identify this
woman. It happened to be a friend of mine. I gave them a positive
identification, which was strange, because she was completely
conscious and telling them who she was. As I left, I also passed my
roommate and she gave me a bunch of her things to take back to our
room. When I got down to Worth (it looked like Worth, only it had
that new handicapped ramp on the east side of Parrish in front of it)
someone stopped me and said, "They just took your roommate to the
bathroom." I remember thinking, "Why are you telling me this?!" Then
I looked under this big plum tree and there was a jack o'lantern
under it. Next to the jack o'lantern was another one, only the second
one was carved out of a big apple. I proceeded to try o kick it in.
The person hadn't left -- she said to me, "Well, aren't you going to
go up there?" I asked why I should care if she went to the bathroom.
The woman said, "Not the bathroom, the death room." I didn't fully
comprehend what she said; my roommate had just looked fine a minute
ago. Then, I couldn't decide if I should take her stuff back to the
room before I went back up; I stood there frozen, unable to decide
what I should do.
Psychoanalysis: You are plagued by
an unconscious fear of disorientation and displacement after
graduation. The elements of the questioned identity of her friend and
the displaced ramp from Parrish to Worth reveal the dreamer's fear of
familiarity crumbling about her. Through miscommunication, she then
learns that she cannot trust words. Instead of responding to the news
of her roommate, she turns to kick in a large apple jack o'lantern.
The apple jack (childhood breakfast cereal experience?) o'lantern
symbolizes the foundations of her childhood, fond memories of
holidays and her Catholicism (the apple symbolizing the Garden of
Eden and original sin.) By kicking it in, she destroys her
foundation, the things in which she placed the most faith. When she
finally understands the messenger, she is faced with losing one more
certainty (the friendship of her roommate) and becomes paralyzed.
After having every "certainty" questioned, she cannot make the
simplest decisions, let alone difficult ones such as how the hell to
make enough money to eat after graduation.
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