*bathroom drains*

I can't lift my head

when its stuck to the bathroom floor

weighed down with what-if thoughts

and its not me that's wrong

its not either of us

i wish somebody would just analyze it

detailing his words

that mean so much

i sat and cried

my back against the bathtub

running my finger over the floor

pretending i'm not desperate for his name

the cold of the floor

makes my pounding head go away

if i could just sink through

try to erase the hopeless images from my mind

i can't walk in five inch heels

toward your faraway place

towards my faraway you

but the nostalgia of those months

and the puzzle around my finger

i took it off and almost lost it down the drain

i put it back together

as a reminder

that we can be put back together

but there are too many drains in our lives

and so i took it apart

...again.

12/9/98

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