5:56 p.m.

     Brrr...it suddenly got extremely cold the last couple days here at Penn State...

     My weekend was okay..i mean i pretty much stayed in because i was sick and i needed to rest. I'm hoping that i'm not relapsing with Mono, because my side hurts, my throat hurts, and i'm extremely tired and all i have been doing is sleeping...that would be the last thing i needed right now.

    I'm loving this boyz 2 Men music..mmm..as many people as there are in a dorm, it can get pretty lonely sometimes...i guess i'm just longing for at least one stable person here..a lot of people have older siblings here and friends from home..i don't have that..its a total new beginning..

   I guess i just get like this when i see him. that pitcher guy (name protected for the sake of the asshole)..i run into him all the time lately..and it kills me..because he always gives this one smile and it just gets right inside me and makes me want him so bad. It pisses me off..it really does. because i can be stronger than this...

   in talking to meg i asked her how she dealt with the idea of a boy not wanting her..because when something ends with her, she just deals with it and lets go..or at least she doesn't obsess over it like i do...and she said "because i know that if it didn't work..the reason is that there is someone out there thats better thats about to come along..." which is true..

    The whole thing that happened with that pitcher guy reminds me of that whole incident that happened with Tim from CF..i thought nobody would be better than him..and then along came jon, then steve, then jason...the whole deal..

   it just..GRRRR...it pisses me off...

   I did hear from the track guy. I had emailed him in the middle of the week and then realized that i emailed the wrong guy..so i re-emailed him and he emailed me back..he told me he had been real busy, didn't know what i was thinking, and that he had gone home for the weekend and that he's going to call me as soon as he gets a chance..

   hmmm...i know he'll call..but hello-i'm not waiting forever...

     man, i really need a haircut.. *yawn* ...bleh-i really want to talk to jen right now but i have a feeling she is stll in class..i'm really anxiously awaiting the picture of me and her from graduation that she said she sent a couple days ago. I already went and bought a picture frame for it.

   I'm going to cycling class in a little  bit..i attempted to go earlier but i guess its getting prettpy popular and there weren't any bikes left...

   I really have nothing substantial to say..pretty much i'm wasting my time..and your time..

    I had a dream last night with the little girls in it that i babysat this summer..i really really miss them..as bratty as they could be..i really do miss them..i have a picture of me and the 2 of them and i always look at it..

  I'm off to cycling....