10 April, 2000-Monday

    Box 'o' fun

warm sun feed me up
when i'm leery loaded up
loathing for a change
and i slip some boil away
swallowed followed
heavy about everything but my love
swallowed sorrowed
i'm with everyone and yet not
i'm with everyone and yet not
i'm with everyone and yet not
just wanted to be myself
hey you said that you would love to try some
hey you said that you would love to die some
in the middle of a world on a fishhook
you're the wave
you're the wave
you're the wave
swallowed borrowed
heavy about everything but my love
swallowed hollowed
sharp about everyone but yourself
swallowed oh no i'm with everyone and yet not
i'm with everyone and you're not
i'm on everyone and yet
piss on self-esteem
forward busted knee
sick head blackened lungs
and i'm a simple selfish son
swallowed followed
swallowed oh no i'm with everyone and yet not
got to get away from here
i miss the one that i love a lot
i miss the one that I love a lot
 

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i just wrote this today...it was just what poured out..i'll write more about my actual life tomorrow.

She watches as he embraces her, not knowing what had caused her sudden feelings of dismay. She wishes she could be that girl in the arms of a man who asks no questions. She feels as if she's losing out. She has a man to embrace her, but not like this couple who happen to be each others backbones. She's lost sight of his support. Always waiting to give him her own, but there is, unfortunately, a limit to these opportunities. She's fallen so hard, but she can't stop falling...Pivoting on her foot to lose sight of this desired love, she rubs her own shoulders in the form of a supporting embrace of which she knows, she will not be receiving tonight.

and no...i'm not depressed..this was just sparked by my jealousy of what i saw on t.v.