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Depressed About Iraq?  Laura Welch BushI know how you feel. My own husband was saying just the other day, "Why won't these people just let me bomb it already?" Between the protesters and the Europeans, my poor hubby is very depressed.  Sec. O'Neill to Go On Extended Tour Ari FleischerContrary to the rumors and lies propagated by the liberal press, the Secretary of the Treasury has decided to go on an extended tour with pop icon Bono, a close personal friend. "Big Paul," as the U2 star calls him, has found his calling, and it is in music and African hunger, not in the Treasury Department. For this reason, President Bush will be forced to appoint a replacement. But we will miss you, Big Paul. And we blame it on Bono. All of it. The True, Righteous Party of Light is Again Victorious Laura Welch BushBless me Jesus, the overwhelming victory of the Republicans in the November elections put my Georgie in one hell of a good mood. Behind closed doors he was whooping it up and saying things like, "that will show them Godless assholes." I think he meant the Democrats. <giggle> Poppy Bush had to take the whiskey away from him and slap him around a little to make him understand that going before the TV at the press conference in a cheerleader outfit was not suitable. A Small Clarification Ari FleischerPresident Bush wishes to clarify a statement he made last week. When he stated, "I call upon all nations to do everything they can to stop these terrorist killers," and then followed this purposeful statement with, "Now watch this drive," he was not indicating that he had more important things to do, like golf. He was simply pointing out that he had done all he could to bring about world peace and, frankly, other countries needed to start pulling their weight. Nonetheless, Mr. Bush will continue to make purposeful statements from his ranch in Crawford. BCI Announces New Website Andrew Card, Jr.In an effort to display a more "traditional" look, the White House has acquired www.white-house.biz to serve as the main website for Bush-Cheney, Incorporated. BCI will retain its website at www.bush-co.com, but this will be reworked to serve as a corporate website only. We are excited about the future of this, and are interested in any comments or suggestions you may have. Please note that because of the August recess and the fact that Washington is, after all, a swamp, and nobody really wants to be here, some pages on this website may not yet be available. Evil On the Run Donald RumsfeldAfter speaking with Gen. Franks about the ongoing War on Evil (tm), I am pleased to say that Evil is on the run. We're not entirely sure where Evil is right now — and it is possible that Evil or the friends of Evil may try to rise up against us in the future — but we're confident that right now, Evil has little support in this world. 
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