allen schneider, phys psych seminar
"I'm not praying, I'm just waiting for caitlin."
"I'm asphyxiating the whole class, this is wonderful!"
"we don't need a lab... we can use our imaginations."
"if they don't smell, they squeak!"
frank durgin, cognitive psychology
"you say you're conscious, but I don't believe you! how can I tell? I'm actually a robot."
ben: "no, no, I'm on the edge of my seat!"
frank: "yeah, exactly, and you're gonna fall off it any minute."
"well, socrates is probably a man, and it's likely that men are mortal, so it's sort of probable that someday socrates is going to die. maybe. but I can't be sure."
"everyone in here looks different. but you're all people. well, except for him."
"the odd number was sitting in a tree."
"yeah, steven pinker is at mit, but he's canadian, so we have to be skeptical."
"some of you have probably had some experience with thinking. once or twice."
peter schmidt, american poetry
"gertrude stein is kinda like drugs... she sort of alters your mind."
"reefer, I assume, doesn't need a footnote."
lisa: "and on the seventh day, god said, 'die and crawl into a bear.' "
anna: "does anyone know what happened on the third day?"
peter: "god created bears."
frank, electrodynamics seminar
"why am I confusing myself? I know how this works."
"where is everyone? it's one-twenty-frickin-five!"
"we only have one presentation this week, because that's all I could stand... I mean think of."
"I should drive a claussius-mossotti... with the v8 option of course."
"pasta? what? I was blowing my nose."
"when you jump in the ocean, rabi, there's no tidal wave in england!"
"I only scream when I see centipedes."
"liquid nitrogen and babies are the hardest acts to follow."
john, classical mechanics seminar
"you can't play tennis by calculating, just like you can't play billiards by calculating. I mean you can, but you'll lose."
frank, modern physics & quantum dynamics
"that's why physics is an easy subject, unlike say sociology. you put three different personalities in a room, you have no idea what's going to happen. you put three waves in a room, just add them up!"
"and the bottom line, which is going to be of great interest... why am I holding the needlenose pliers?"
"in general sometimes other kinds of differential equations come up, and you are therefore sometimes screwed."
"it's okay, this one just has two more terms. well, if you consider infinity to be a finite term."
"reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated... I'm feeling better today. the water is to pour on me, in case my temperature spikes."
"if you think that's a rigorous derivation, you're sicker than I am!"
"probability is like maple syrup. you know, it sort of moves around."
"...and here is the differential equation, which doc brown will show you someday soon, if he ever comes to class."
"you weren't confused, you were just a little slow..."
"we write it this way in quantum mechanics, because we're fancy... well no, actually because we have to."
"if you think this is obvious, I don't know what you're smoking."
"if you're looking for motivation to pay attention to me, it's that this is going to help you with problem one on your homework."
"soon there will be no SATs... then even I'll be able to go to swarthmore."
"an odd number of parentheses -- happens all the time!"
"when you lower this state, you don't get no state! ...that was french, because you're allowed to use double negatives in french."
"welcome to the second half of the term, where we will expand into multi-dimensions."
"there are three dimensions, more or less."
"this is cause for rejoicement!"
"I thought of this lesson on the new jersey turnpike last night."
"this is your head; this is the helium hamiltonian: squish! you see how it is."
"most things, like you and me and atoms, are born in the ground state."
"the proton is fixed... meaning it's standing still, not in the veterinary sense."
"blah blah blah, frickin' blah."
doc, mathematical methods of physics
"no, you can multiply two infinite series. it just takes infinity-squared seconds."
mike: "make it infinity-squared nanoseconds so we can do it faster."
"someone said they hadn't done integration by parts since... kindergarten or something."
"so we start with a spherical potato... or a spherical cow, whatever."
"okay, misery poker time is over."
steven hopkins, patterns of asian religion
"I have tenure! I can do anything!"
"who wants to be the buddha or an enlightened nun...? oh hell, I'll do it, I have tenure."
"good luck. may the elephant god sit on your face, or something like that."
"I can't let you leave before you're enlightened!"
ed kako, evolutionary psychology
"humans mating is not like a pigeon playing the piano."
"we do sometimes call people sweet... but we don't usually call them creamy. generally."
briar: "I would eat a peeled insect."