Even if I were going to complete the above assignment, it would still be full of smartassery and jibber-jabber. Consequently, the word limit is rescinded and Singapore is your personal playground. Report back in two months.

While you're gone, I'll describe myself, I guess. I'm tall. I'm multiracial (although the consensus among several of my friends seems to be that I'm simply Samoan). I've got big feet, black hair, brown eyes, and weird knees that I've been wondering about for years, namely why my kneecaps seem to be completely different shapes.

Philisophically, I'm a secular humanist optimist hedonist.

Actually, I'm probably not, but 'ist' sounds cool, and I don't speak German. I'm a Religion major unsure of where I stand on a god of any sort. I'm an optimist pragmatist most accurately - I believe in ideals, and have them, but realize that life rarely if ever accomodates what you actually want. I still hope that I can attain my ideals, even as I fail to.

I'm straight, which has worked out well for me thus far. Someone asked me what my type was once, and I don't know if I have one, either in terms of friends or girlfriends. And since this section is quickly bordering on the inane because of my lifelong inability to discuss this without fear of either alienating potential companions or the inability to describe what it is about the people I like and love that attaches me to them, I will stop it.

I'm a liberal. Conservatism doesn't have a lot to offer me, so I never take it up on its advances. Although the flowers were much appreciated.

This is going to be the last section. And it will say something clever yet tender, that will both enamor you to me as well as make you slightly intimidated by my towering intellect. Yep, that's what this will say. As soon as I get to it.