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In 2001, one of my good friends on the Project was dating a guy who worked for Playboy. She would get letters from him on Playboy letterhead with some regularity and caught no little grief from whomever was handing out mail that day. Toward the end of season, Veronica and I decided that we should write an article for Playboy centered around archaeology. Not a very difficult feat considering all the innuendo that finds its way into the daily banter of digging. With some help from a few other friends, this article was produced, although never published. All the advice given is accurate to proper archaeological method, with a bit of a twist or two.

Sexcavations and Sexcapades in Ancient Pompeii
By Claire ©2001
in collaboration with Leta, Veronica, Nick, and Steve

Walking down the streets of Pompeii, you pass former bar after former bar, all with the universal symbol of virility and good luck adorning the outsides of the shops: the penis. Pompeii was a man's town, geared toward the man in power. From the constant presence of erect phalluses to the illustrated brothel (2000 year old Playboy style), there is no escaping the obvious bent toward men and their manhood.

So if the ancient city is initially this man-minded, then archaeology is the perfect pastime for the modern guy. Imbued with pick axing and scantily clad women, archaeology increases your marketability with women (what woman doesn't swoon over Harrison Ford from Indiana Jones) while simultaneously bulking you up (eight hours a day of construction-style earth moving with the facade of science).

The first thing to be done before sexcavation is to set up your baseline, establishing initial boundaries and preventing later confusion. It is not recommended to straddle the baseline, though this is sometimes unavoidable to continue sexcavation. The nail for the baseline needs to be set in deep. To do this, use a hammer and gently tap it on the head. Wiggle it slightly to b e sure it is firmly set within the wall. Withdrawing your nail is not recommended until the climax of trench sexcavation.

Possibly the most important tool the archaeologist has is the trowel, an instrument of smooth, hard, forged steel which, in the hands of an expert, can uncover stimulating deposits. The true archaeologist starts slow, teasing the emergence of deposits with even, gentle strokes, taking one layer off at a time. Focusing on one layer at a time will ultimately end in greater satisfaction. Thus, starting with younger levels, work down to the older depths. Continue down, always keen to color change. Spraying to moisten the deposits can often yield unexpected yet clarifying results. Keep the deposits fresh. A follow up on fresh deposits is to only stick your trowel into layers that have been thoroughly cleaned. Cleaning your trench regularly is necessary to prevent contamination.

Sometimes when harder deposits won't respond, a firm hand is required. But a word of caution: prodding an area can harm fragile inclusions, so it is very important to pull off layers with great care. Exposing your features for the first time can provide much excitement for you and your colleagues and can stimulate an entire evening of interpretation and variation. While you are continually digging down, bracing the edges of your trench may be necessary to support the sides and prevent mixing deposits. Collapsing the edges can result in sloppy sections. Reversing deposits is not only confusing, but also potentially painful to your head.

Photography is also a necessary tool for accurate representation of sexcavations. Indication your orientation cuts down on misapplication, so always remember to point north. Also, make sure your rod is straight and extended the full length of the feature, ensuring a good picture of its entire size.

When taking soil samples, proper insertion of the shaft guarantees complete penetration and avoidance of fractured sections. This method produces a column of firm substrate.

Interpretation of the discoveries you make is challenging and very rewarding. Remember that understanding relationships is a difficult subject for even seasoned archaeologists.

When finished with sexcavation, remove all evidence that you were there and put down a tarp to protect the more fragile features before backfill. Then close the area.

Teaching the theory of archaeological sexcavation is no substitute for physical experience within the trench. The most important tip: don't be afraid to get dirty.