"In New York I'd go to the movies three or four times a week. Here I've upped it to six or seven, mainly because I'm too lazy to do anything else. Fortunately, going to the movies seems to suddenly qualify as an intellectual accomplishment, on a par with reading a book or devoting time to serious thought. It's not that the movies have gotten any more strenuous, it's just that a lot of people are as lazy as I am, and together we've agreed to lower the bar."
- David Sedaris, Me Talk Pretty One Day

Lord of the Kings: The Return of the King
Underworld
Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World
Love Actually
Once Upon a Time in Mexico
Kill Bill, Vol. 1
Intolerable Cruelty
S.W.A.T.
The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen
Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle
Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl
The Italian Job
Finding Nemo
The Matrix Reloaded
A la folie, pas de tout (She Loves Me, She Loves Me Not)
A Mighty Wind- Hilarious. Sad. Touching. Loved it. It was less funny that Spinal Tap or Waiting for Guffman, but I think that was because its heart was bigger. Michael McKean? LOVE HIM. Eugene Levy and Catherine O'Hara are wonderful together. See it!

Confidence- A very slick movie. But, somehow, unmemorable. Sorry, folks, that's all I got.

What A Girl Wants- This is how much I love Colin Firth. I saw What A Girl Wants because he was in it. Colin, baby, next time you feel like slumming come over to my house! It's a benign little movie. Pretty much exactly what you'd expect.

Phone Booth- As much as I love Keifer Sutherland's velvety bedroom whisper, it doesn't seem like a reason to make a movie. And yes, Colin Farrell sure is purty, but again, not quite sure why this movie exists. It's not a bad movie, just a small movie. It made me go, "Huh. Neat. Why?"

X2- Awesome. Better than the first one. Nightcrawler? Awesome. Iceman? Awesome. Pyro? Aweseome and hot. Wolverine? HOT. The phoenix in the water? Soooooo cool. Can't wait for the next one.

Bend It Like Beckham- Love it. Very few movies, historically, have made me want to play soccer, but this one did just that. Rock.

Cradle 2 the Grave- I was so very excited about this movie. The preview looked AWESOME. Jet Li! fighting Mark Dacascos! In a ring of fire! So cool, right?! Except not. The people who made this movie were sooooooooooooo stupid. So, Jet Li is fighting Mark Dacascos, and rather than showing the fight of THE MARTIAL ARTS MOVIE HEADLINERS, they don't set up shots so you could see what was going on, and they cut away every 2 seconds from the fight of Jet Li vs. Mark Dacascos IN A RING OF FIRE to show DMX vs random stunt guy and Gabrielle Union vs random stunt girl. What a waste of an opportunity. I hope somewhere (DVD, maybe) there's the unedited footage. But otherwise, don't waste your time.

Daredevil- Stupid fun. Not good, but fun. Jennifer Garner is hot, as one or two other people might have noticed. I saw it in a full theater in New York, and there were cheers for all the references (C train, "I'm from the Bronx", etc) and laughter at the baaaaad parts of the movie. Amazing how unattractive Colin Farrell can make himself by shaving his head, no?

Chicago- Catherine Zeta-Jones is smoking hot. Love her. Hate Renee Zellweger, and her squinty chipmunk face. Richard Gere does almost nothing for me. So, that's pretty much that. The movie is very well done and slick. If only I liked more than 1 out of 3 of the leads.

Talk to Her- Wow. I saw it with Josh Galun when he visited New York, and I'm not sure either of us quite knew what to make of it. But I know it was good! Difficult, and thought-provoking. And brazen. I mean, when they shrunk the little guy, I was all, oh, they're not going there. And then they went there. And they went there more than even I thought they would go, once it was clear that they were, indeed, going there. Wow. Must have been an interesting day for the set-builders when it came the day to build the life-size pussy set.

Drumline- Tons of fun. Not a good movie, per se, but entertaining. In the same vein as other bad-but-rhythmically- enjoyable movies like You Got Served and Center Stage.

Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers- Perfection. Just perfection. I got shivers at the whump, whumps preceeding the battle at Helm's Deep. And Legolas? Fighting with two swords? Holy fucking shit, that was hot. And just for me. (Like, 4 people said later that they thought of me at that point. Hee!)

Adaptation.- Loved it. Charlie Kaufman is nuts, you know? But in the best way possible. His movies are awesome, and completely non-sum-uppable. Suffice it to say, it's hilarious and brilliant right up until about 15-20 minutes until the end, when I thought it kind of petered out. But in a fitting way, and not in a way that seriously diminished my love for the movie. See it.

The Four Feathers- I love Heath Ledger. So a movie with Heath Ledger in eyeliner?! I should have loved it. I'm easy. I love all kinds of movies. And yet this? Kind of left me cold. I blame Kate Hudson. She was not very well cast. There was some nice homoerotic subtext between Wes Bentley and Heath Ledger, though, but not enough to mitigate everything that didn't work in the movie. But, hey, if you like the Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets- I liked it so much better than the first one. This one had a climax that actually was climactic, and action and suspense that were completely missing from the first one. Much better. Although puberty? Is not being so kind to Ron.

Punch-Drunk Love- This is a completely weird and wonderful movie. As Tiff said, Adam Sandler put finally puts his idiot man-child persona to good use. It's so well crafted and feels so original. Love it.

Spirited Away- What an awesome, innovative, creepy, funny, imaginative, and messed-up movie. It was just so unlike everything else that I had no idea where the story would go or how it would all work out. It was still recognizably Miyazaki, though, which is a good thing. Just fantastic. Oh, and I love the River Spirit, and that's where Tiff, Katie, and I get the thing where we hold out our hand offering something and go "Uhhh uhhh." Hee.

XXX- Stupid, but fun. Vin has got the yummiest, growly purr. Explosions and cool stunts and neato gadgets. It's pretty much just what you think it'll be.

Signs- This movie? Freaked my shit out. It was the suspense that got to me. The reveal wasn't all that scary, as per usual, but leading up to it? Oh yeah. They got me. I'm not a huge Mel fan, but I like him in this, and I thought the kids and Joaquim were great.

MIIB- I thought it was funny at the time, but overall it's really, really forgettable. Also, Lara Flynn Boyle is really, really scary, possibly in ways they didn't intend.

Road of Perdition- This was a really good movie. Sad, well-made, and well-acted. But, uh, as I'm writing this, like, a year after I saw it, I'm realizing it didn't make that lasting an impression, except visually. Visually, it was very pretty and gritty and it has lots of memorable images. I know I'm not really doing a good job of talking it up, but it is worth renting, definitely.

Reign of Fire- I know I shouldn't, but I can't help myself- I love this movie. Dragons! Shirtless Christian Bale! I know the "explanations" it gives are ludicrous, but I don't care. Fluffy fun has never been this atmospherically creepy. I also really liked how they set up this whole Christian Bale vs. Matthew McConaughy thing, and you didn't know who was going to be right, or the better leader. And it turns out... neither of them. Nope. Both wrong. Carnage on both sides. Dragons are smarter. Whoo!

Minority Report- You know, I have mixed feelings about this movie, but overall, I would say I liked it, and I'll tell you why- I wasn't smart enough. I didn't have it figured out. And, had I been in the character's shoes, I wouldn't have been able to either do the plotting or figure out how I was being plotted against. And I like that. I must say, I did not see entire parts of the movie, because I had been forewarned to look away, because of the (*shudder*) eye thing. Anyway, I think it's worth seeing. The very least you can say is that visually, it's very, very cool.

Lilo and Stitch- Love it! So un-Disney and sad and poignant and hilarious and wonderful. "City! City!" Hee! I can't even count how many times I've quoted that. Stitch takes after my own heart.

My Big Fat Greek Wedding- This is just a fun, charming movie which will make you smile and laugh out loud. My John Corbett love still burns strong from "Northern Exposure" so I was delighted to see him in something. Just a cute, happy movie.

The Bourne Identity- I thought this movie kicked all kinds of ass. Franke Potente (LOVE her!) was awesome. What I really liked about this movie was the realism, or the plausibility. I know, can you believe I just said that about a spy movie? Matt Damon, who is great in this, makes do with what he has. He doesn't have fancy gadgets or a clue about what's going on so he's constantly improvising, and I just loved that. The movie doesn't feel overly glossy or polished. He also fights well, but he's not a martial arts master, which I liked. Also, an awesome car chase. There was just so much novelty in this. I mean that in a good way. I mean, the Americans are the bad guys! How often does that happen? Very cool movie.

Undercover Brother- It was funny, but not as good as I thought it would be. It was uneven, although I would say the hits outnumber the misses. Still, a bit meh, but maybe worth a rental.

Unfaithful- I have dibs on Olivier Martinez, and have had for years now. He's mine. Mine mine mine! Also? He's hotter than the fire of a thousand suns. Fortunately for me, he's nekkid and sexy for the bulk of this movie. Yum yum yum. Oh right, there was a plot with Richard Gere you say? Yeah whatever. I was only paying attention to the hot French guy. Once he was out of the picture, whatever.

The Importance of Being Earnest- Colin Firth and Rupert Everett! Colin Firth! Doing Oscar Wilde! I thought I would love it. Instead, I liked it. Something was a little meh. Not the script (obviously), not the actors but something. I'm glad I saw it, but that's about the extent of it.

About a Boy - I psychotically love the book, so I was both happy that there was going to be a movie and really nervous. But, I think they did a great job of adapting it. The movie stays true to the spirit and tone of the book, and very successfully moves the timeframe forward a decade. Hugh Grant is pitch perfect. It's a wonderful movie.

Star Wars: Episode II- Attack of the Clones - It was ok. Far, far better than Episode One, and the last hour was legitimately fun. And it looked great, too. It just had no soul or spirit. But, of course, I'll go see the third one.

Spider-Man - I liked it. I did. I wanted to love it, but I had some problems with this movie, and didn't love it. I have NO difficulty suspending my disbelief, I just want to make that clear. More than half of what I watch is sci-fi/fantasy/comic book based. But this movie really didn't do it for me, because I think it cut corners, and took things as granted that it hadn't earned. I'll be more specific. So, evidently the reality of the movie is supposed to be the real world, like we live in it. Yeah, ok, if that's how they want to do it, that's fine, but then they need to have people (re)acting as if they would in the real world. The Green Goblin? looked RIDICULOUS. My problem was not with the costume itself, per se, but that no one else thought it was ridiculous. If ONE bystander had shouted "You look like a dumbass!" I would feel very differently. I wanted someone to ask out loud "Dude, why can Spiderman climb walls?" and I just didn't buy that no one did. I didn't buy that everyone bought it. Sure, they wanted to know WHO is Spiderman, but not how/what is Spiderman. Like, in the X-Men movie, the Senator and the anti-mutant sentiments were believable reactions that I could see happening in the real world. This movie didn't have them. So, in my opinion, for the movie to really work, either it had to take itself less seriously and be more campy like the Superman movies, for example, or it had to be darker. The atmosphere created by Tim Burton in the Batman movies, for example, was so dark and fucked-up that it wasn't hard to believe in the events that happened. The movie just didn't do enough to earn my suspension of disbelief, but that said, it's pretty entertaining.

Y tu mamá también - This was just an excellent, honest movie. The two young leads are awesome (Octavio from Amores Perros) and have great, believable chemistry. It's funny and sad and touching and thoughtful. Just excellent.

The Scorpion King - I love the Mummy movies, and how could I not go see the Rock movie? It was really entertaining and stupid fun and enjoyable with cool fight scenes. Not a whole lot more to say than that.

Sorority Boys - Yup. I saw the movie about the cross-dressing frat boys. It's all about Michael Rosenbaum (Lex from Smallville), y'all. It was bad, but funny enough. I saw a matinee, and felt I got my money's worth, but it's a fantastically stupid movie.

Resident Evil - This movie wasn't good, but I enjoyed the hell out of it. I saw it with a lively theater, and it was just a lot of fun. The reason I saw the movie? Colin Salmon. I LOVE him. He's so so so so pretty and I was just sorry his part was so small. Also, Milla Jovovich looks damn good wet. It's a entertaining movie, if not quality per se.

Gosford Park - It was good, and I could recognize that fact, but the movie did nothing for me. Had plenty of people I love, like Helen Mirren and Jeremy Northam, but still nothing. Too bad.

Crossroads - Yup. I saw the Britney Spears movie. You think you know how it's going to be, and it's just so much more so. Hee! I saw it, and I'd see it again. It's hilarious, most of the time unintentionally. "But Daddy, I worked to hard to be the valedictorian!" Comedy gold!

The Count of Monte Cristo - This reminds me of my reaction to reading the book "Last of the Mohicans". I do understand that the book is so long and complicated that it had to be paired down, and I have no problem with that. I do have a problem, though, when people change some of the fundamental facts that are the premise of the plot. The previews said "Betrayed by his best friend..." Actually, no. No no no. He was set up by his ENEMIES. Argh! Also, Fernand is not aristocracy! That rant said, I actually did enjoy the movie, and I don't think anyone who hasn't read the book will be annoyed. It's quite slick and entertaining and fun, when judged on its own merits.

Mulholland Dr. - This is a very cool, stylish, and well done movie, with an especially great performance by Naomi Watts. But that doesn't necessarily translate into "I love this movie." It was more understandable than I thought it would be, considering it's David Lynch, and luckily I saw it with Tiffany who got it right away and explained it once we left the theater. It's worth seeing, but I won't feel the need to see it again anytime soon.

The Brotherhood of the Wolf - (Real title: Le pacte des loups) Seen in French, with English subtitles. I love this movie. It's a blockbuster, and I mean that as a compliment. It's just so much fun. My favorite review of this movie (I'm paraphrasing) says "If you only see one French language costume drama period piece kung-fu action adventure romance suspence thriller werewolf monster movie this year, see this one." Hee! And so true. It has Vincent Cassel, whom I love, no matter how slimy he is in this movie. Also, Marc Dacascos. In a loincloth! That alone is worth the price of admission.

Monsters, Inc. - I absolutely loved this movie, but Tiff and I were a little disturbed, because we were afraid that we might have been secretly videotaped, because seriously, that little girl? Sounds exactly like us. I make all of her noises. In any event, it's hilarious and inventive and wonderful.

The Royal Tenenbaums - I LOVED it. This movie is so wonderful and sad and funny and beautiful and thoughtful and there's so much pleasing attention to detail! The Wilson brothers are fantastic, as per usual. Just a wonderful, wonderful movie. (And it inspired great costumes for Shakin and Katie.)

A Beautiful Mind >- I liked it, especially Paul Bettany, who totally stole the show. I don't think it should have won Best Picture, though, so retroactively I feel some bitter feelings towards this movie. It's good, but not all the hype says.

Vanilla Sky - I like plenty of weird movies, but this isn't one of them. I didn't hate it, but something didn't gel, I felt. I liked Penelope Cruz and Jason Lee was fantastic, but meh. Whatever.

In the Bedroom - A really good movie that I'll never want to watch again. It's powerful and wrenching and so sad. Nick Stahl aged very well (I love The Man Without a Face), I must say. The acting is top-notch across the board.

Ocean's Eleven - You'd think that George Clooney and Brad Pitt had been friends all their lives. They have such good chemistry, as does the entire excellent cast. It's just a damn cool movie and the fun that was very obviously has while making it is contagious.

Kate and Leopold - It's a cute, well-done, dumb movie. Hugh Jackman is completely charming. The premise is silly, yes, and they spend as little time as possible in explaining how it could be, which is fine by me. There were some genuine laughs and surprises. Breckin Meyer steals the show. Umm, so, there you have it.

Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring - Perfect! Whee! This movie was fan-fucking-tastic! It was everything I wanted. Plus, my beautiful blond elf boy. I seriously could not sit still anytime Legolas was on screen. (Hi Legolas! I love you!) The Ringwraiths were perfect, the movie was gorgeous, and parts that annoyed me in the books were gone. I saw it three times in two weeks in the theaters, and I'll probably see it many more times before the Two Towers comes out.

Amélie - LOVED it, duh. Everyone who sees this movie loves it, except my mom. It's funny, but sad, and romantic and quirky and original and a must-see. Incidentally, the title in French is "the Fabulous Destiny of Amélie Poulain" which we call just Amélie. That makes no sense to me, but whatever.

Spy Game - I love Brad Pitt, Robert Redford, and spy stuff, so yeah, I liked this movie. It was fun, well-paced, well put together, and just plain cool. But, umm, I gotta say, in the scene where they meet on top of a building supposedly in Berlin, and then the camera pans back and we get a shot of the city and its skyline. That's NOT Berlin. That's Budapest. Did they think we wouldn't notice? I mean, eventually, the movie's gonna be released in Europe, and at that point entire countries are going to laugh. I'm sure there are more inaccuracies, but if you just let them slide, then it's a very entertaining movie.

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone - I liked it. I liked the book better, but I liked it. I guess it's not their fault the CGI looked cheesy sometimes (Quidditch match,, for example), but they got many things right. Casting being one of them. Hermione was fantastic! and mmmmmm, Alan Rickman. Yum. If it's wrong to root for Snape over Harry, I don't want to be right. I felt though, that the climax, was problematically anti-climactic. The showdown in front of the mirror? Lame. There was no sense of urgency or evil like there was in the book. It looks very, very pretty, though, especially Snape (who looks like Alan Rickman bred with Trent Reznor), and I'll go see the sequel.

Serendipity I'm a sap, and I like John Cusack and Kate Beckinsale, so I pretty much knew I was going to like this movie. I knew they'd end up together, but I didn't know about quite all of the bends in the road, but whatever that's worth. It's a romantic comedy, and you know if you like that sort of thing already.

Zoolander - Stupid, yes, but mostly I laughed and laughed. Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson are great together, the puckering up thing cracked me up. Small part played by David Duchovny (why won't you love me?), but at first all you hear is his voice, and I shouted out "Hey, it's David Duchovny!" really loud in the theater. True story. In any case, the movie is very silly, and Will Ferrell is very annoying, but it's worth watching.

The Closet - LOVED it! It's a French movie, Le Placard, that I saw in french with English subtitles. This movie is so funny, and in fact, funnier than the subtitles. I laughed more than anyone in the theater, and I think the rest of the audience thought I was trying a little too hard, so as to not hurt the movie's feelings. Sometimes I would laugh at what was said, and then there'd be a pause and then the rest of the audience would laugh as they read that part of the subtitle. It was a little odd. But, the movie, in any case has Daniel Auteuil and Gerard Depardieu, so you know it's gonna be well-acted. They play really well off of each other. Go see it, and feel like you're being all cultured and stuff, even though it's more or less a sex comedy.

Planet of the Apes - Normally I love what Tim Burton does, but this time not so much. I think part of it (I was talking to some people about this) is that he doens't know what to do with normal people. Freaks (in this case the apes) he does better than anyone, but since the hero was "normal", he just didn't manage to make the audience care. Estella Warren also bugged. A lot. I am SHOCKED, though, that this didn't win for best make-up, because whatever else was not right, everything and everyone looks amazing.

American Pie 2 - I liked the first one and I like this one, too. I laughed a lot, and really it's all I asked for. Alyson Hannigan has a much bigger part which is a bonus. The cast looked like they were having a lot of fun, and that can be infectious. So if you don't mind crude and/or obnoxious, it's a really funny movie.

Legally Blonde - Hee! I enjoyed this movie way more than I should have. It's all about Reese Witherspoon. She's fantastic, and in fact, better than the movie. Luke Wilson is very cute with her, and it's a lot of fun. Also, her hair is SO well conditioned! I covet.

The Princess Diaries - It was stupid. Sam from the T-Shirt store dragged me to it. There were good supporting characters and it had funny moments, but I was entirely underwhelmed. I'm not going to like any movie in which the girl loses her glasses and gets a make-over, and all of a sudden is popular and beautiful. Grrrrr. I thought she looked much cuter as she was. Also, the main girl couldn't really act. Bah.

Moulin Rouge! - Whee! That's my kind of movie. Gaudy but gorgeous, original, funny, romantic, inventive... Ewan Macgregor has a set of pipes on him. As if I needed to think he were any more adorable. There are people (like my parents) who would never be able to get past the at times dizzying camera work, and sometimes I wish the camera would hold still just a little longer so I could better see the costumes or the set (like during the Smells Like Teen Spirit/Lady Marmelade can-can), but overall? Very minor complaints. It's fantastic.

A Knight's Tale - Alright, I admit it. I liked it. But then again, I was kind of already determined to like it before I had even seen it. Heath Ledger and Rufus Sewell? Yum, especially the former in this movie. Paul Bettany was great, too. Also, jousting? Very cool, and the official state sport of Maryland. It knew enough not to take itself seriously. A stupid, fluffy, at times cheesy summer movie, but also entertaining, amusing, and watchable.