Since, at heart, I am a fairly lazy individual, my last homepage is of an amusing little tale (at least, I'd like to think that it was amusing) involving Kohlberg.

The Crime

"Catch 'em. Eat 'em."

-Heart of Darkness

Unbeknowst to most Swarthmore students, Kohlberg Hall is the site of many a grizzly and odd late-night ritual. The center of these rituals is the garden and the Stonehengesque pillars around the garden. If one versed in the plants of the Dark Arts were to examine the flora within the garden, one would find a virtual cookbook of evil plants.

The Spirit

During the day, with the comings and goings of unsuspecting students masks the suspicious nature of the building. At night, however, the worshippers come out of the stonework to bow down before the mighty Fey Cof Rab, a heinous spirit. This evil demon draws poor students ever closer to the brink, addicting them to late nights, and eventually causing them to end up sitting with a small arsenal in the belltower.

The Rite

The students begin the ceremony with the Spicus Plantus cum Ballum, slicing open the small balls attached to the plant and bleeding them out in front of the Stonehenge Wall. Then the Ouchus Pricklius is placed in the middle of the spilt sap, facing the Wall. Finally, a student entones the magic words, unknown for certain, but thought to be "I need Caffeine!" Thus the rite is ended.

Kohlberg Hall