qsa workshop #10: culturally mediated (a)sexuality
designed by talia young, talia@sccs.swarthmore.edu, fall 2000

objectives:

• to talk about how culture mediates the way(s) we are supposed to be sexually
• to talk about "unconventional" ways of being sexual
• to talk about asexuality
• to talk about how asexuality relates to queerness: is it queer to be asexual?

materials needed:

• white board or chalk board, markers or chalk

preparation:

• set up a circle with the board

icebreaker:

• barnyard animals: split into groups of 2 or 3 by birthday months

name game:

• go around, do names and your favorite cosmetic product and why

ground rules:

• confidentiality: not that you can't talk about what goes on here (on the contrary, please do continue discussions outside of the workshop) but don't go around saying "so-and-so was at the workshop and said such-and-such"
• respect: there are probably a lot of us coming from different places; please respect each other. feel free to disagree with each other but please use "i" statements
• no stupid questions: on a similar note, there are no stupid questions here; you should feel free to ask everything. i realize this can sometimes be a risky position to take, but i think it's important. if you think a question is offensive, you should say so, but that doesn't mean that it was stupid. anyway, we'll see how this one works.
• any others?

activity:

• brainstorm: what does our culture tell us about how we're supposed to be, sexually?
• men are supposed to be attracted to women, women are supposed to be attracted to men
• being attracted to someone means kissing, petting and intercourse
• everyone is supposed to have sexual urges all the time and want to have sex
• attractive men are strong and white
• attractive women are blonde, white and thin
• people (in relationships) aren't supposed to need to masturbate
• (make a subcategory for gay/lesbian culture)
• men are supposed to be attracted to men
• women are supposed to be attracted to women
• people are supposed to want to have sex all the time a lot
• handout questions, have them do them individually:
1. am i a sexual being? ("i don't know" is an acceptable answer.) if so, in what ways or how do i manifest it or want to manifest it?
2. how are those ways the same as the brainstorm list that we made?
3. how are they different?
4. what do i like about what i said in (2) and (3)?
5. what do i dislike about it?
• break up into the barnyard animals groups to share
• come back to the group to report
• discuss:
• how does asexuality fit into this discussion?
• is being asexual queer?

follow up/wrap up/conclusion:

• go around and share a closing thought.

1: what is queer? | 2: queer & family | 3: (trans)gender | 4: queer sex | 5: gay marriage | 6: queer athletics
7: queer literature | 8: erotica, smut & pornography | 9: queer religion | 10: culturally mediated (a)sexuality?
icebreakers | name games

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