"Bytecode in the .Jar"
lyrics by Benjamin Newman
ttto: "Whiskey in the Jar" trad. Irish

(capo 2)

/: G - Em - / C - G - :/

As I was looking over a website wise and witty
I saw a Java applet there whose graphics were so pretty
So I unzipped the archive, but no source code was inside her
I said: Stand and deliver, for I've got a decompiler!

	/ D - / G - / C - / GD G /

	public static void main(String[] args)
	Hide all your source away
	I'll find it anyway --
	There's bytecode in the .jar!

I opened up the files and renamed the function headers
But the logic was so clean I couldn't make it any better
So I changed the attribution and made out I was the author
All supposing any applet can't be told from any other

	public static void main(String[] args)
	I'll claim this code is mine
	A lie on every line
	There's bytecode in the .jar!

Next week I got an email from the author of the applet
And she said: I know you stole it and I know just how you hacked it
For you tried to change the headers but your changes were too sloppy
And the call graph is a perfect match which proves your code's a copy

	public static void main(String[] args)
	Try stealing code from me
	It's plain for all to see
	There's bytecode in the .jar!

Well, I hoped my bit of thieving wouldn't do more than annoy her
But the email that she sent me also went to my employer
And they told me when they fired me: That sure was a stupid gamble
With this black mark on your record your career will be in shambles

	public static void main(String[] args)
	It's time this loser leaves
	We won't consort with thieves
	There's bytecode in the .jar!

Now my reputation's toast just like it sank in molten lava
I'll make no more foolish boasts and I won't ever write in Java
And I'll take nobody's code that doesn't say it's for the taking
For I thought I'd get away with it but sure I was mistaken

	public static void main(String[] args)
	The moral of this tale:
	Code theft's an epic fail
	There's bytecode in the .jar!