wayne's corn chowder
The Gospel of Chowder, according to Wayne:onions, corn, potatoes light cream, butter pepper, salt
Ok, listen up y'all. You wanna eat some fuckin' chowder, you gotta do it right. None of this fuckin' vegan tofu shit. You need lots of butter and lots of cream. If you want to use margarine or soy milk, get the fuck out of Wayne's kitchen.
Ok, so you cut up a lot of fucking potatoes into 1-inch cube pieces. Leave the skins on; it tastes better that way, and the chowder gets a nice dirty color too. (But wash the fucking potatoes of course; don't be an asshole.) Sautee those in a lot of butter. Throw in a little bit of water (a handful or two) to keep them moist. And listen up: the only thickening agent in this whole fucking chowder is the potato starch. Throw the water in early so it draws out the starch. It's the dope shit.
Now: cut up some onions. A lot of onions. Cut them up coarsely. Throw them in with the potatoes. Throw in more butter. Lots of butter. Saute those fuckers.
This is the point at which not only the vegans but the vegetarians should also get the fuck out of Wayne's kitchen, because in another skillet you're going to start heating up either some kielbasa or some ham or some Andouille. When this heated up (or cooked if you started with raw sausage), you're going to drain it and cut up into 1-inch pieces and throw it in the chowder.
Throw in a couple cans of corn now too. Actually, make that several cans of corn. Drain those puppies first though.
Ok, so now the potatoes and the onions and the sausage and corn are all chillin (well, cookin', actually) in the buttery/potato-starchy water. Once everything is pretty tender, throw in the cream. Light cream. Let's not be stupid here folks. Light cream. Throw in as much as it takes to make the shit look like chowder.
Cook it and stir it until it thickens up. Throw in a pinch of salt and some black pepper. Serve with cubic fuckloads of fresh ground black pepper and Tabasco (or Crystal, but keep that fucking froo-froo habanero shit away from chowder, y'hear?)