'04 '05 '06 '07 Alums

Name: Brandon John Fredrick Luzar Jr.
Nickname: Giant, Big Dumb Surfer Guy, Evan, Joe Millionaire
Year: '05
Height: 6'4"
Weight: 185 lbs
Favorite Website: www.homestarrunner.com
Favorite Tournament: Natties or Mars, but I gotta admit the Wing Bowl is pretty sweet
Favorite Murphy's Mom Joke: Don't say doing Murphy's mom, Don't say doing Murphy's mom . . . Doing Murphy.
Funniest Ultimate Story: Doing a three man mark drill with Silverman and getting frustrated cause I couldn't break him,
then pegging him in the nuts while trying to throw it between his legs.
Paper Plate Award(s): Magnus Ver Magnusson, Vincent Pallaver Love of the Game, and the "Sloth" award

Name: Jeremy Cristol (Cris-tul)
Nickname: Cristal (Cris-tahl)
Year: 2005
Height: 5'11''
Weight: 135
Favorite Website: www.imdb.com
Favorite Tournament: Fall Sectionals at Lehigh
Favorite Murphy's Mom Joke: One time at band camp, it was parents weekend or something, so I pankused
and donkey punched everyone's moms, including Murphy's and Skemer's. When they regained consciousness, I houdini'd them
all like seven times (they have an exceptionally low learning curve) and boy were my mouth and my loins dry after that debacle.
Funniest Ultimate Story: Way too many to remember here. Probably trying to eat a dozen Krispy Kremes and a
pint of chocolate milk, preceded by a spanish omelette egg mcmuffin and a boston cream, on the way back from Richmond
and barfing them all up in a Subway bathroom after 10.5, thus losing my 15 dollar opportunity. My disc rolling through a
thick stream of Big Gay Mule urine while playing disc golf is a close second though.
Paper Plate Award(s): Even Regis Couldn't Get You Out of Bed, Six Degrees of Kiss My Ass

Name: Jon Gorman
Nickname: Cristol
Year: '05
Height: 5'11'
Weight: 140 of raw muscle and sex appeal
Favorite Website: www.homestarrunner.com
Favorite Tournament: Richmond - freshman year
Favorite Murphy's Mom Joke: The one about somebody having sex with her
Funniest Ultimate Story: The Ultimate North Carolina Mix
Paper Plate Award(s): The Benson Look-a-like Award, The Drew Mast
Attendance Award

Name: Alan Smith
Nickname: No, not as such
Year: '05
Height: 6' 4"
Chance of Showers: mild
Weight: 205 lbs
Favorite Website: http://www.cco.net/~jpete/deepthou.htm
Favorite Tournament: Nationals was pretty amazing.
Favorite Murphy's Mom Joke: The one about the truck load of Dobermans and the icecream float. I'd tell it, but i'm really bad at telling jokes.
Funniest Ultimate Story: Game point against Maryland, and Silverman has theDisc on the goal line for the winning point. Vinnie,
the alum who we freshmen had just met, who had flown in from California or someplace for the game, runs down the sideline
screaming "P-play! P-play! for the love of God Brandon, throw a P-play!" Then, Brandon throws the same throw twice
(not a P play), first to Mule, then to Neo and we get to go to nationals.
Current Income per taxpayer dependant: See line 54.
Paper Plate Award(s): "Cadillac of the skies" "Freshman who's not going to get CUT"
"Roomate attendace award (you can come to practice like that guy)" with Steve Pater

Name: Gabriel Rogers
Nickname: Jolly
Year: '05
Height: 6' 1"
Weight: 11 1/2 stones (almost)
Favorite Website:http://www.ibiblio.org/bawdy/folklore/tales.html
Favorite Tournament: It's kind of stigmatized, but so much went down at the Richmond tourney
freshman year that I'd feel bad not calling it my favorite. I don't have favorites anyway.
Favorite Murphy's Mom Joke: Hey Murph, I had sex with Rosemary last night!
Funniest Ultimate Story: Two different recently naked worms telling the pissed off Richmond women's
lacrosse coach that we were from Hopkins and Texas, after deciding to tell her we were from Hopkins.
Man, she was pissed, which made it very not funny at the time, but even more funny later. The time
Mule caught a bee in a cup was pretty hilarious too. Then there's the time I got a paper plate award
commending me for my nudity, when I was never nude. John Fort continuously laying out in the fat man costume
at Haverween two years ago. Jeremy running. I could go on.
Paper Plate Awards: The Dirt Award, Gabe...or Monkey?, Evolution Award, Ambassador Award

Name: Jon Fombonne
Nickname: anything stupid that rhymes with my name, Riptide.
Year: 2005
Height: 6'1"
Weight: 210
Favorite Website: www.theonion.com, news.bbc.co.uk
Favorite Tournament: Terminus
Favorite Kieft's Mom Joke: Saller's Mom went down on her
Funniest Ultimate story: The Icepenis and I, nudist extraordinaires, play a game of naked catch at Terminus, 2004.
After laying out and thankfully avoiding carpet burn on my scrotum, Ice-P and I walk over to the Warmom's
game, in order to cheer our balls off. For the sake of not offending (and by that I mean distracting, due to our huge love muscles)
the opposite team, wecovered our most private areas with a disc (one each, not a shared disc).After a while, the sidlined warmoms
realized what was going on, and turned around to stare/laugh (I couldn't tell which it was). after a while, a look of horror creeps
over a certain warmom's face. She looked at me and said:"that's my disc!" Luckily, it wasn't touching. Actually, this story isn't
that funny. But we all know the funniest ultimate story. It starts one balmy evening in Abidjan...more to come.
Paper Plate Award: Best Rugby Captain...uh, yeah.

webmaster: Alex Kieft