Highlights from Caddyshack Test, October 23, 2000:

For an original copy of the Caddyshack Test, click here.

The results are in.

After a grueling 40 minutes of perhaps the most intense competition I have ever witnessed, John Anderson sneaked by with extraordinarily close victory over Brandon Silverman by a score of 15-14. Paul Wulfsberg acted as Brandon's second, and Misha Horowitz acted as John's.

Recap:

The test consisted of 15 questions, 5 easy, 5 moderate, and 5 difficult. Those questions with multiple answers (as indicated below in the copy of the test constructed by Andrew Gregory and myself) were worth multiple points, for a total of 25 points.

John took an early 2 point lead in the easy questions, as Brandon second-guessed himself on the candy bar question and missed an item on the club bag question. In the middle of the test they both ran into some trouble, faltering on the authorship question (only Brandon knew a single one) and missing both the "gunga lagunga" and "rat fart" quotes. As we moved into the final stretch of difficult questions, Brandon tied the score with the correct answer "he doesn't want to stick to anything." Things became tense as no points were awarded on the boats question and one point out of two to both opponents on the Coke question. The score remained tied for the final question, arguably the most difficult question on the test, as it involved singing the answer. This took a great deal of contemplation on the part of each contestant, and Brandon even went so far as to take a calming stroll. Finally, John sang: "dooga dooga dooga doot doot doo (BOOM) dooga dooga dooga..." and when Brandon returned, he sang "I'm allllllright, don't nobody worry 'bout me." The correct answer, was of course, Tchaikovsky's 1812 overture, which John had so sonorously rendered. Brandon's answer was not far off, as that song (by Kenny Loggins, who did the entire original soundtrack) had appeared at different places in the movie, and would be a solid guess for any musical Caddyshack question. However, Kenny Loggins does not evoke the explosive imagery that the 1812 overture does, as the filmmakers surely knew when they included it in the soundtrack.

Thus, on the final question, John was declared the winner. Everyone then wiped the sweat from their brow and left Sharples. As requested, the transcript of the test has been included for posterity.

Evan

The Caddyshack Test

Easy

Name each of the three ways that Carl tried to kill the gopher. (3)

Flooding (hose), shooting (high-poered rifle), blowing up (plastic explosive decoys)

What brand of candy bar is thrown in the pool, where it is mistaken for human feces? (1)

Baby Ruth

Name each of the five extraneous luxury functions of Rodney Dangerfield's club bag. (5)

Radio, TV, beer tap, phone, "club launcher"

What _should_ Rodney Dangerfield have yelled instead of "fore"? (1)

"Two."

How does Ty measure himself against other golfers? (1)

height

Moderate

Name each of the three authors of the Caddyshack script proper. (3)

Brian Doyle-Murray, Harold Ramis, Doug Kenney

What did the Dalai Lama say to Carl (in the original tongue)? (1)

"gunga lagunga"

What does the bishop say right before he's struck by lightning? (1)

"rat fart"

Which scene precedes the bishop's quest for the perfect round of golf? (1)

Bill Murray's soliloquy: the Cinderella story..."it's in the hole..."

During the final round of golf, what does Lou make a side bet on? (1)

The kid picking his nose (and then eating it)

Difficult

What business does Ty own (but not necessarily run)? (1)

2 lumberyards

What reason does Ty give for not sitting down in Carl's apartment?

He doesn't want to stick to anything

What is the name of the judge's newly christened yacht? What is the name of the yacht that hits it? (2)

"The Flying Wasp" and "Seafood"

To what value did Lou raise the price of Coke, and why did he raise it? (2)

50 cents, because he was losing at the track

Sing the music that plays when the golf course explodes.

[Tchaikovsky, 1812 Overture]