Highlights!

Drew Mini-Tournament

Seven savage warriors went to New Brunswick with to satiate their bloodlust: Brandon Luzar, Sarah Hilding, Paul Wulfsberg, Tal Levy, Alex Kieft, and Xiao Wu. Carolynn Laurenza, Kirk Ellison, Cassie Barnum, and Jon Greenberg all chose unwisely and stayed at Swat stroking the manginas or womanginas. Because of our short numbers, we spent about an hour trying to get seven players together, and aware of our pathetic appearance we seriously consider a Warren Wilson-style game, without shoes, rolling up in a VW bus, and always having a coed line. With no subs, and with my right calf pulled from when I heroically saved a golden-haired child from a terrorist attack the night before, if my memory serves me correctly, we decided to use an offense with minimal running. The Wall. Minimal running, that is, for everybody but J who was a beastly chase and permanent mark all day long. Our first game is on the muddiest field we've ever seen, in very high winds. We throw away a lot of shit, I think I was point-blocked by Badger's little brother, and Drew wins 9-8 on double game point. But wait. We can and do sink even lower. Games #2,3,4 are on a field in generally better shape than our first one, except for a pool of water maybe 12 feet by four feet on the far side towards midfield, and its surrounding mud flats. Alex starts off our play on the field with a huge layout catch through the pool, and Ding has several muddy layouts, but we generally suck again, and I am skied repeatedly by a 6' 5" man named Rahul. We lose 9-7 to Cooper Union, and there is a flurry of photography afterwards as CU records what was their first win ever. D'oh.

Game 3 is against Lehigh. In the roche for pull, Luzar's steady rock strategy prevails after six rounds. UPenn B's captain is brighter and figures out some strategy that mysteriously defeats steady rock. Lehigh being our toughest opponent yet, we decide to stop playing like fecal matter, and build up a little lead. Ding is crushed by a leaping Lehigh player and sidelined for the rest of the day. Five minutes later, Wynn is injured by the same guy in a huge point-saving defensive layout , also sidelined until another day. So suddenly Smart Whore is down to five players. Lehigh, being very sporting, plays us 5 on 5, and we beat them 13-10.

Our final game is against UPenn B. Not being very sporting, they decide to play us 7 on 5. We have to tweak our zone around a bit, and end up with a sort of four man box defense, with still as permanent chase. We take the first point, and Void is pissed, but still partly bemused. Their tempers relax after they win the next point to tie up the game, but after we go up 3-1 and they are turning it over in the face of our box-and-, they are getting pretty damn spicy with each other. UPenn B recovers, and I think took half 8-7. In the second half, we make a comeback with the insane one-handed grabs of Alex Kieft, the defensive layouts of Mister Falcon, and Brandon and I having a huckfest with each other, scoring repeatedly on floaty hucks to one Earthworm surrounded by four Voiders. By this point, Risharde's unstoppable cheering skills are now on our sideline, and we manage to pull out a 14-12 5 on 7 win over UPenn B, finishing them off with a Luzar
backhand huck turning into a blade which I manage to catch in the end zone, quite unintentionally trapping the disc between my right hand and my groin.A highlight from the UPenn B game was Tal's strategic use of the mud pool. Somehow UPenn had been playing on the one good field all day, and not laying out, so their uniforms were all still pretty clean, and they are not inclined to change this. Tal makes massive Vinny-style cuts leading his defender around and through the pool repeatedly, until he looks like an earthworm. The surly Void player snarled "You little bastard" at him and took a sub after that point to fervently tidy his appearance.

The fun doesn't stop on the ultimate field. We're leaving vibrant New Brunswick, when the passenger in a car in front of us chucks a fast food bag out the sunroof, almost hitting our van. Luzar steps on the gas and I show the litterbug some red eye. Surprisingly, he really likes it, and gives a vigorous oil-checking gesture with his middle finger. We both end up on I-95 a few minutes later and he starts taunting us, manually requesting that we bring it. We get in a couple more moonings, and he sticks his head out of the sunroof to yell unintelligbly. The whole time the guy's girlfriend is driving, and looking straight ahead, resolutely ignoring our moons and her boyfriend's antics. The couple pulls off to the right-hand lane and is heading for an exit off I-95, so we get together a final retaliation. Luzar catches up with them and then mimics their speed for several seconds, plenty of time for them both to enjoy a full broadside: Mule ass smearing up the window, chickens running
wild, and Tal's soft creamy white buttocks.

-big gay

FIRST WAVE

-Kicking ass, then watching the Warmoms kick more ass.
-Beating UNC Chapel Hill first thing Sunday after losing to them Saturday. Satisfying.
-Pizza and beer provided by the TD in the island in the middle of the pond
-Peeing in a bush in the island in the middle of the pond (yes it was that good)
-Eating pasta out of discs in the parking lot of our sketchy motel. A cop car turns up after a little while, cop gets out to say hello and check up on us. Starts small talking and warning us about "things that happen around here. Things that I've seen happen..." Then another cop car shows up and an occifer comes out; mildly humorous. Then a THIRD cop drives up; quite humorous. Then Cristol takes a picture of the pandemonium from the upper level; ice-breaking. Finally the cops get a call on their radio and all hop in their cars to peel out of the parking lot, flashing their lights and sirens in goodbye; surreal.

SOUTH CAROLINA BEACH
-Beach ultimate tournament!! Featuring a trademark CPS earthshattering layout on the hard sand that left a well defined imprint
-Anna, upon gathering on the beach, "Alright guys, we've got to be respectful and keep our voices down and no swearing, there are lots of old couples walking along the beach here." Anna, 15 minutes later while one of said couples is approaching, "FUCK FUCK FUCK, COME ON, WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? etc, etc."
-Patrick Swayze in "Road House" featuring the Double Deuce Club
-Brad Pitt in "Legends of the Fall"
-Sibley, Mule, Flaming Hot, and I (in cleats and full ultimate regalia) wandering into the public high school (apparently through an illegal back exit) looking for the athletic director until we are stopped by a kindly man who promptly identifies Greenberg's water container as an "OE bottle" (Olde English 40). He turns out to be from around Swat and heckles my pronunciation of the 'r' in Swarthmore.
-Sibley and Abby making everything so soft and smoooooth... and good food.

TALENT SHOW
-Alex and Alan's incredibly coarse rapid-fire jokes kicking off the night
-Collin wins the show, finally showing his Carmen Sandiego video. IT'S GOA, BOY, GOA!!!
-The Bickering Irish Lorenzas
-The best post-show party EVER, lasting until 4AM when Collin thankfully told us to go to bed. It would have gone till sunrise otherwise
-Apparently Mule, Reshma and I had a good time
-Stumbling upstairs to find and wake up a groggy and cranky Neo to drag him down to the party. Quoth Neo, "All right, I'll just go down long enough to make one throw, who will cut for me?"
-Tequila makes me dance funny...
-Waking up the next morning absolutely still drunk and swigging some more tequila before cleaning up

TERMINUS

-The complete lack of billions of persistent biting gnats
-Game against Michigan, we went up 7-2 or so early, then got in a rut and they took half 8-7. Over halftime we said we needed to score every point the second half, and did so, winning 10-8.
-Game against Florida State, we've given up already, they pull to us on their game point. I calmly walk the disc to the brick, our ho-stack is set up, somebody yells "Eric first cut!" I look over at Luzar and see his giant grin and nodding head and know what I must do. Backhand force is put on, Eric cuts from the light side in, I fake forehand and swing my arms over my defender as Sibley taught us and realize that my defender's head is exactly where I wish to put my thumber. Throwing
anything other than a thumber is not an option at this point, such a thought fails to cross my mind. I cleverly step outside and attempt to angle my thumber's release up and to the left of my defender's head, release, and spike the disc 10 feet in front of Eric. Florida State laughs, picks up the disc and scores on us. Not a thumber.
-Getting spanked by Illinois, then cheering "Thank you sir, may I have another"
-Terminus Party- beating Maryland in a boatrace, and Cristol's magnificent roche and stripping performance to win himself a Gaia duffel bag. Too good a story for this format, ask somebody who was there.

VANS
-Starting out the trip with a full tank of gas
-Learning that anything is funny when it takes place "in your pants" (ex. bake a chicken pot pie in your pants, complete a rubix cube in your pants)
-North Carolina! Come on and raise up! Take your.... wait, that wasn't my van

-Benplanyourowndamnspringbreaksben

Spring Phling

A few more "Spring" Phling highlights for your digestion, edification, ossification, regurgitation...

-Mule. Rare was the score that he was not within 2 passes of. After throwing away some swilly huck from midfield on Sunday, he apologized "Sorry, I don't know what to do with the disc when I catch it more than 10 yards from the endzone."

-Flaming Hot Blades. Rare was the upwind point during which FHP did not forego an easy backhand (ex. an unmarked Alex in the endzone 5 yards away) in favor of a ridiculous forehand blade to the opposite corner. Infuriatingly effective.

-Mae. Upon staying at the party with the truly hardcore (Luzar, Beast, Allan, Chaz, Eric, Rob and Myself), began criticizing her fellow Warmoms for wussing out and not partying enough. Was promptly nominated for "Only Favored Female" award, despite complaining about a supposed Beastly oil checking while I carried her out of the cabin.

-The short fun bus. A cadre of cold worms took refuge under a tarp to cheer on the moms while the rain began, forming the jovially cheering/heckling fun bus for the mentally challenged. I'm still not sure if the moms were glad we were there or not...

-The funk band. Fucking awesome, I requested "pass the peas" but it was already on their list.

-Getting back from the party at 2/3 AM and being called a bitch over and over for no apparent reason by my Nemesis the Younger, Rob. Brought a tear to my eye.

-Um, I don't think anybody's said anything related our actual performance yet. Worms went 3-3, losing to Ohio State, Queens, and Queens, and beating GW, Bucknell, and Johns Hopkins handily. Our losses were not too disgraceful, we came out flat against Queens the first game, got in a hole and our comeback was capped in a short game. We played well for the most part against Ohio, but again came out too soft. We've got to get it into our heads that every point of a game
matters, and come out intense early. Good tourney, though, it felt damn good to beat GW, scoring 12 straight on JHU was cathartic, and yes, Nemesis of Old, Luzar's p-play was the best throw given the situation. That gives us 2 successful p's in 2 attempts in 2 weekends, both on old men (Haverford alums and The Old Man). Keep the streak alive.

Power to the People,
-BtotheBenben

webmaster: Alex Kieft